Day of Fred's Funeral

Day of Fred's Funeral

I had just gotten back to college after burying my uncle today when I went to a time of worship in front of the tower that some friends were putting on and I just began to ball my eyes out. The past few months I've lost two uncles and a grandfather but to be honest with you, although I miss them greatly, I felt nothing but joy for their passing. The reason why I began to cry is because I saw and experienced how much hurt and sorrow the rest of my family and even friends were going through, and yet I am so incredibly grateful that I was able to be apart of it. Seeing pain in others is the thing that honestly hurts me the most, but what a privilege it is when someone opens up so intimately to you as to allow you to see their hurting. There is nothing more that I wish than for me to be able to bear such a burden as theirs in their stead, but although that's not possible, I do feel as though sharing and opening up to others helps to lighten the load or at least share it. Sure, had they never opened up to me I would have never felt their pain and would have never cried tonight, but I would hate to be ignorant to the pain of this world. It is better by far for me to experience it than to live in ignorant bliss, and it is better by far for others to share such an experience than to face the brute strength of it all on their own. The sorrow I feel is a sorrow I am eternally thankful for. My uncle whose funeral was today was a man who for as long as I can remember faced such adversity and struggles in life and he suffered greatly from them. I can not recall anyone else I know that has been through all that he has and although he was ready to give up a few times, he never did. He fell victim to his circumstances, but he was no less a man for it because such issues could only be resolved by the supernatural and on Friday morning they were. His life was a constant wave of highs and lows and I can't help but resent the fact that he went out right when he seemed to be overcoming it all because I felt like he could have truly started to enjoy this life and be content with it, but how foolish am I to forget that he is experiencing that more than ever now and it is far greater than anything he could have felt here on earth. Thank God he went out on a high note. During that moment of worship tonight with tears streaming down my face as all I could feel was the agony of those I love I began to listen to the lyrics of the song that we were singing. At that moment, when all I could feel was pain and anguish I heard the body of Christ sing out the words "When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me." The song goes on to say "And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don't have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about the way that He loves us." No matter what adversity we face or what hardships we have to endure, none of it comes close to measuring up to God and what He has done for us through His love. Though it's hard to accept at times, as I certainly wasn't accepting it today, there is nothing too big for our God to handle. There is no pain too great for Him to heal. There is no death too difficult for Him to overcome because He has already overcome death, He has defeated the grave and it is exactly for this reason that we can rejoice because death no longer has its sting. Let us be thankful when hardships come our way because after we breathe our last here, whatever we have faced here is gone, it is wiped away forever by an eternity of comfort and peace found in Christ Jesus alone. Jesus said "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5: 4) Our comfort is coming, but it must wait. This thought is no better summed up than by James when he says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4) Today, in this season of thanksgiving, I am thankful for the lives and deaths of those I love, I am thankful for the pain I feel when those I love open themselves up to me with their burdens, I am thankful for the trials of this world that far too often seem like more than I can handle, but mostly, I am thankful for a God who has already overcome it all.