Freedom and It's Correlation to Good and Evil
The purely emotional issue so many people seem to have with God is that how can there be a loving and caring God with all the evil we see in the world? The answer is quite simple: freedom. Where freedom abounds both good and evil abound all the more. Freedom seems to be a necessity for both good and evil. God gave us free will and so evil is a natural byproduct from that, not from God's choices, mind you, but our own. If we had not chosen to sin, there wouldn't be any evil. However, if we had not the option to chose sin there wouldn't be any good. God being the Good made a world where good could thrive as much as possible, a world where man had free will, the freedom to sin. We must relinquish our grasp on this notion of fairness in regards to the evil and cruelty of this world and understand that there are consequences for our actions and the actions of others. Our decisions don't simply affect us, they affect those around us as well, wether they be good or evil. We aren't willing to accept this notion and cry foul rather than work on it. So long as we live in a corrupted (by our own doing) world, the dichotomy of good vs evil will always be a constant struggle and a very present reality. Let us therefore take hope in the God who has already overcome evil rather than fault him for the very same evil we helped to construct in the first place.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Short Sightedness
Short Sightedness
For as long as I can remember I have faced the onset of depression, which is something I am thankful for because it spurs me in my growth and introspection, but last year I remember it was starting to get a little overbearing. So I prayed for a break or time off of sorts from it and my prayer was answered. I felt rejuvenated and had never grown so much in my faith like that before, but then some issues arose, which I mentioned in a previous writing "Texts With a Friend," and it became overbearing again. I talked with my friend Zach about it and he began to laugh. Now for me, I was opening up to him in a very serious manner and began to be upset with him as he was laughing. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "so let me get this straight. You prayed for a break from your depression and you got that?" I nodded. "And now you are frustrated when it came back, as you had prayed?" It hit me what he was saying. I began to laugh a bit myself. How foolish and how short sighted I am to not be able to recall my prayer from only a few months back. At that moment the depression was no longer overbearing and my peace of mind had been restored. I am truly thankful for friends like Zach and for being able to share my personal struggles with the body of Christ, something that is vital to our walk.
For as long as I can remember I have faced the onset of depression, which is something I am thankful for because it spurs me in my growth and introspection, but last year I remember it was starting to get a little overbearing. So I prayed for a break or time off of sorts from it and my prayer was answered. I felt rejuvenated and had never grown so much in my faith like that before, but then some issues arose, which I mentioned in a previous writing "Texts With a Friend," and it became overbearing again. I talked with my friend Zach about it and he began to laugh. Now for me, I was opening up to him in a very serious manner and began to be upset with him as he was laughing. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "so let me get this straight. You prayed for a break from your depression and you got that?" I nodded. "And now you are frustrated when it came back, as you had prayed?" It hit me what he was saying. I began to laugh a bit myself. How foolish and how short sighted I am to not be able to recall my prayer from only a few months back. At that moment the depression was no longer overbearing and my peace of mind had been restored. I am truly thankful for friends like Zach and for being able to share my personal struggles with the body of Christ, something that is vital to our walk.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Nightly Reflections and Introspections
Nightly Reflections and Introspections
Far too often I lay down at the end of the day and feel like the day has been wasted. I do not put in the discipline or the effort in order to progress. Will this become of my life? I don't wish to wake up at 19 and lie down at 30 seeing nothing change. My dream in life is to produce. To produce something fruitful. To benefit others with what I make or craft. That is why I love to write so much. I have had people tell me that my writings have changed their way of thinking. What a privilege that is and what a compliment that is to receive. Changing someone's mindset is such an intimate connection and it is a connection or a bond I desire to share with many people. I desire to make a mark upon this world, but not for my own sake. I have abandoned ship of my own sake for it was a sinking and fleeting cause. Thank God for that life vest. I apologize for my tangential writing, but that is what is on my mind tonight.
Far too often I lay down at the end of the day and feel like the day has been wasted. I do not put in the discipline or the effort in order to progress. Will this become of my life? I don't wish to wake up at 19 and lie down at 30 seeing nothing change. My dream in life is to produce. To produce something fruitful. To benefit others with what I make or craft. That is why I love to write so much. I have had people tell me that my writings have changed their way of thinking. What a privilege that is and what a compliment that is to receive. Changing someone's mindset is such an intimate connection and it is a connection or a bond I desire to share with many people. I desire to make a mark upon this world, but not for my own sake. I have abandoned ship of my own sake for it was a sinking and fleeting cause. Thank God for that life vest. I apologize for my tangential writing, but that is what is on my mind tonight.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Rich Young Man
Rich Young Man
(Mark 10:17-25)
That passage is simply known as “The Rich Young Man” and is a rather popular story in the church, but the message is often overlooked. Jesus is saying that we can't hold on to anything, that we must fully submit our lives to follow Him. The Rich Young Man was holding on to his materials, it may be different for some of us. But overall, I believe that whatever we hold on to, it is because we consider that a success in our life. So for me, it all boils down to success. Being a senior in high school that word is really thrown around a lot, and rightfully so. These are the last few steps of our lives under our parents’ shadows and we have to venture out on our own and make something of ourselves. It is like the little bird that is dropped out of the nest and expected to fly, we’re in free fall and we don’t want to hit the ground. And the reason we so desperately seek this success is because we are stricken with fear. There is a fear deep down in each of us that our lives won’t have any true purpose. We crave for purpose to our lives, that our lives might mean something, and that’s why we become obsessive over success, because we are at that point of no return. But what I think is so important from this passage is our definition of success. You see this man; he based his entire success on his possessions, his wealth. This man had obtained so much and was still young, that is the epitome of success in this world. I have many friends like this man who tell me that if they aren’t making millions in the next 10 years that their lives would be considered failures, but take it from the Rich Young Man. Can you imagine how devastating that must have been for the man to see all he has accomplished and all the purpose he thought he had in his possessions only to hear that it is all worthless? It’s meaningless; there is no substance, no true worth in possessions. The Bible says that he went away grieving. So how should we define success? Well, success is meeting our goals, and our goals are built off of our purpose. In order to establish our goals, we must first establish our purpose. So what is our purpose? Many Christians would tell you it is to glorify God, which is absolutely correct, but if that were it then why make us at all? God has angels who glorify Him, and much better than you or I could ever do here. Our real purpose is to have a relationship with Him, but in order to have a relationship; you have to have free will. You can’t force someone to love you. So God gave us a rule, a single simple rule. He said, “I give you this whole Earth for you to do as you please, but just don’t eat the fruit from this one little tree over here.” How easy is that? It’s not like it was even a difficult rule to follow, but we still messed it up, causing a chasm in the relationship. Because God is a just God, there had to be consequences for our sins. Someone or something had to die to take away our sins, so the practice of sacrifices began. And the sacrifices were good; they got the job done, but temporarily. But God said He’d fix it, He came down as man, was mocked, brutally beaten and tortured, spat upon, and He ultimately died to be the Perfect Sacrifice that would take away the sins of the world, both now and forever. And the beautiful part is, all we that have to do in order to receive this sacrifice, our very own redemption, is to just say “Yes, that happened”. He gave us the easiest command in the world, and we broke it, He then went through all that pain and torment for us so that we can be reunited to our purpose if we just accept his gift; a free gift, open for everyone. I could give you $100 dollars, but it would do you no good if you don’t accept it. So our purpose is really twofold; have a relationship with God, and bring others back into their relationship with Him as well.
You know, I went through summer football 4 days a week this whole summer with usually around 5-8 other guys with me. We would have a 2-hour practice from 6-8 every morning, an hour of lifting and an hour of running. It wasn’t uncommon for us to have to sprint over 2 miles a day. Towards the end of practice, for the last 10 minutes all I could think about was taking a shower, going home, taking a nap, and do nothing for the rest of the day. Sure enough practice was over, I survived, and I would do just that. Before you know it, it’s 4 in the afternoon and I am just resting on the couch watching TV and I think to myself, “You know, I’m not doing anything else this whole day, that was all the workout I got for the whole day, I could have ran a little more, I could have done one more lap.” And I pray that that isn’t what I say at the end of my life, I pray that isn’t what you say at the end of yours. This world is full of trials and difficulties and it can be so easy to be caught up in the pain and torment and just seek that comfort, but I promise you that an eternity of comfort is right around the corner. You see at most we have 100 years, if even, on this Earth. But what is that compared to an eternity? You know how each year seems to go by quicker? That’s because it is a smaller fraction of your life. To a 12 month old, a year is literally a lifetime. So a million years or so down the road, this life will literally be but the blink of an eye. We need to focus on the things that last, do you honestly think that 5 years from now you will care about what someone will think of you, or how we are presented right now? We need to focus on fulfilling our purpose here, because nothing else will matter, but we can’t sellout for comfort. Because that comfort is temporary, it’s fleeting, but the comfort that God promises us is eternal. Don’t get to the end of your life and say “You know, I could have helped save one more person, I could have shown God to one more friend.” This is our only opportunity to share God, and much like that success I mentioned before, there is no shot after this, this is it. Don’t waste this life.
So what is true success if our purpose is to have a relationship with God and bring others to have that same relationship with Him as well? This is something I have always thought long and hard over, but for me, I would consider my life a success if I can help bring one person closer to Christ. And I am so thankful to be able to tell you today that my life, as short and trivial as it may be, is already considered a success, just like yours may be. But that doesn’t mean we stop now and call it in because God literally gave us everything, we should strive to give something back, we should share our joy with His children. If anything, we should do so out of empathy for our brothers, our sisters, our friends, and our neighbors. And I know that value of success to be true, but I still have trouble accepting it, which is our human nature. But we can’t get caught up in the trials and tribulations of this world, we can’t seek that temporary and artificial comfort that goes with the wind, we have to stand firm and fulfill our purpose. We can’t look back on our lives with regret saying there’s something more we could have done, but rather find peace in knowing from this day forth, we did all that we could. Our comfort is coming, and it will be here before you know it, but it can wait, it has to.
(Mark 10:17-25)
That passage is simply known as “The Rich Young Man” and is a rather popular story in the church, but the message is often overlooked. Jesus is saying that we can't hold on to anything, that we must fully submit our lives to follow Him. The Rich Young Man was holding on to his materials, it may be different for some of us. But overall, I believe that whatever we hold on to, it is because we consider that a success in our life. So for me, it all boils down to success. Being a senior in high school that word is really thrown around a lot, and rightfully so. These are the last few steps of our lives under our parents’ shadows and we have to venture out on our own and make something of ourselves. It is like the little bird that is dropped out of the nest and expected to fly, we’re in free fall and we don’t want to hit the ground. And the reason we so desperately seek this success is because we are stricken with fear. There is a fear deep down in each of us that our lives won’t have any true purpose. We crave for purpose to our lives, that our lives might mean something, and that’s why we become obsessive over success, because we are at that point of no return. But what I think is so important from this passage is our definition of success. You see this man; he based his entire success on his possessions, his wealth. This man had obtained so much and was still young, that is the epitome of success in this world. I have many friends like this man who tell me that if they aren’t making millions in the next 10 years that their lives would be considered failures, but take it from the Rich Young Man. Can you imagine how devastating that must have been for the man to see all he has accomplished and all the purpose he thought he had in his possessions only to hear that it is all worthless? It’s meaningless; there is no substance, no true worth in possessions. The Bible says that he went away grieving. So how should we define success? Well, success is meeting our goals, and our goals are built off of our purpose. In order to establish our goals, we must first establish our purpose. So what is our purpose? Many Christians would tell you it is to glorify God, which is absolutely correct, but if that were it then why make us at all? God has angels who glorify Him, and much better than you or I could ever do here. Our real purpose is to have a relationship with Him, but in order to have a relationship; you have to have free will. You can’t force someone to love you. So God gave us a rule, a single simple rule. He said, “I give you this whole Earth for you to do as you please, but just don’t eat the fruit from this one little tree over here.” How easy is that? It’s not like it was even a difficult rule to follow, but we still messed it up, causing a chasm in the relationship. Because God is a just God, there had to be consequences for our sins. Someone or something had to die to take away our sins, so the practice of sacrifices began. And the sacrifices were good; they got the job done, but temporarily. But God said He’d fix it, He came down as man, was mocked, brutally beaten and tortured, spat upon, and He ultimately died to be the Perfect Sacrifice that would take away the sins of the world, both now and forever. And the beautiful part is, all we that have to do in order to receive this sacrifice, our very own redemption, is to just say “Yes, that happened”. He gave us the easiest command in the world, and we broke it, He then went through all that pain and torment for us so that we can be reunited to our purpose if we just accept his gift; a free gift, open for everyone. I could give you $100 dollars, but it would do you no good if you don’t accept it. So our purpose is really twofold; have a relationship with God, and bring others back into their relationship with Him as well.
You know, I went through summer football 4 days a week this whole summer with usually around 5-8 other guys with me. We would have a 2-hour practice from 6-8 every morning, an hour of lifting and an hour of running. It wasn’t uncommon for us to have to sprint over 2 miles a day. Towards the end of practice, for the last 10 minutes all I could think about was taking a shower, going home, taking a nap, and do nothing for the rest of the day. Sure enough practice was over, I survived, and I would do just that. Before you know it, it’s 4 in the afternoon and I am just resting on the couch watching TV and I think to myself, “You know, I’m not doing anything else this whole day, that was all the workout I got for the whole day, I could have ran a little more, I could have done one more lap.” And I pray that that isn’t what I say at the end of my life, I pray that isn’t what you say at the end of yours. This world is full of trials and difficulties and it can be so easy to be caught up in the pain and torment and just seek that comfort, but I promise you that an eternity of comfort is right around the corner. You see at most we have 100 years, if even, on this Earth. But what is that compared to an eternity? You know how each year seems to go by quicker? That’s because it is a smaller fraction of your life. To a 12 month old, a year is literally a lifetime. So a million years or so down the road, this life will literally be but the blink of an eye. We need to focus on the things that last, do you honestly think that 5 years from now you will care about what someone will think of you, or how we are presented right now? We need to focus on fulfilling our purpose here, because nothing else will matter, but we can’t sellout for comfort. Because that comfort is temporary, it’s fleeting, but the comfort that God promises us is eternal. Don’t get to the end of your life and say “You know, I could have helped save one more person, I could have shown God to one more friend.” This is our only opportunity to share God, and much like that success I mentioned before, there is no shot after this, this is it. Don’t waste this life.
So what is true success if our purpose is to have a relationship with God and bring others to have that same relationship with Him as well? This is something I have always thought long and hard over, but for me, I would consider my life a success if I can help bring one person closer to Christ. And I am so thankful to be able to tell you today that my life, as short and trivial as it may be, is already considered a success, just like yours may be. But that doesn’t mean we stop now and call it in because God literally gave us everything, we should strive to give something back, we should share our joy with His children. If anything, we should do so out of empathy for our brothers, our sisters, our friends, and our neighbors. And I know that value of success to be true, but I still have trouble accepting it, which is our human nature. But we can’t get caught up in the trials and tribulations of this world, we can’t seek that temporary and artificial comfort that goes with the wind, we have to stand firm and fulfill our purpose. We can’t look back on our lives with regret saying there’s something more we could have done, but rather find peace in knowing from this day forth, we did all that we could. Our comfort is coming, and it will be here before you know it, but it can wait, it has to.
Day of Fred's Funeral
Day of Fred's Funeral
I had just gotten back to college after burying my uncle today when I went to a time of worship in front of the tower that some friends were putting on and I just began to ball my eyes out. The past few months I've lost two uncles and a grandfather but to be honest with you, although I miss them greatly, I felt nothing but joy for their passing. The reason why I began to cry is because I saw and experienced how much hurt and sorrow the rest of my family and even friends were going through, and yet I am so incredibly grateful that I was able to be apart of it. Seeing pain in others is the thing that honestly hurts me the most, but what a privilege it is when someone opens up so intimately to you as to allow you to see their hurting. There is nothing more that I wish than for me to be able to bear such a burden as theirs in their stead, but although that's not possible, I do feel as though sharing and opening up to others helps to lighten the load or at least share it. Sure, had they never opened up to me I would have never felt their pain and would have never cried tonight, but I would hate to be ignorant to the pain of this world. It is better by far for me to experience it than to live in ignorant bliss, and it is better by far for others to share such an experience than to face the brute strength of it all on their own. The sorrow I feel is a sorrow I am eternally thankful for. My uncle whose funeral was today was a man who for as long as I can remember faced such adversity and struggles in life and he suffered greatly from them. I can not recall anyone else I know that has been through all that he has and although he was ready to give up a few times, he never did. He fell victim to his circumstances, but he was no less a man for it because such issues could only be resolved by the supernatural and on Friday morning they were. His life was a constant wave of highs and lows and I can't help but resent the fact that he went out right when he seemed to be overcoming it all because I felt like he could have truly started to enjoy this life and be content with it, but how foolish am I to forget that he is experiencing that more than ever now and it is far greater than anything he could have felt here on earth. Thank God he went out on a high note. During that moment of worship tonight with tears streaming down my face as all I could feel was the agony of those I love I began to listen to the lyrics of the song that we were singing. At that moment, when all I could feel was pain and anguish I heard the body of Christ sing out the words "When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me." The song goes on to say "And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don't have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about the way that He loves us." No matter what adversity we face or what hardships we have to endure, none of it comes close to measuring up to God and what He has done for us through His love. Though it's hard to accept at times, as I certainly wasn't accepting it today, there is nothing too big for our God to handle. There is no pain too great for Him to heal. There is no death too difficult for Him to overcome because He has already overcome death, He has defeated the grave and it is exactly for this reason that we can rejoice because death no longer has its sting. Let us be thankful when hardships come our way because after we breathe our last here, whatever we have faced here is gone, it is wiped away forever by an eternity of comfort and peace found in Christ Jesus alone. Jesus said "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5: 4) Our comfort is coming, but it must wait. This thought is no better summed up than by James when he says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4) Today, in this season of thanksgiving, I am thankful for the lives and deaths of those I love, I am thankful for the pain I feel when those I love open themselves up to me with their burdens, I am thankful for the trials of this world that far too often seem like more than I can handle, but mostly, I am thankful for a God who has already overcome it all.
I had just gotten back to college after burying my uncle today when I went to a time of worship in front of the tower that some friends were putting on and I just began to ball my eyes out. The past few months I've lost two uncles and a grandfather but to be honest with you, although I miss them greatly, I felt nothing but joy for their passing. The reason why I began to cry is because I saw and experienced how much hurt and sorrow the rest of my family and even friends were going through, and yet I am so incredibly grateful that I was able to be apart of it. Seeing pain in others is the thing that honestly hurts me the most, but what a privilege it is when someone opens up so intimately to you as to allow you to see their hurting. There is nothing more that I wish than for me to be able to bear such a burden as theirs in their stead, but although that's not possible, I do feel as though sharing and opening up to others helps to lighten the load or at least share it. Sure, had they never opened up to me I would have never felt their pain and would have never cried tonight, but I would hate to be ignorant to the pain of this world. It is better by far for me to experience it than to live in ignorant bliss, and it is better by far for others to share such an experience than to face the brute strength of it all on their own. The sorrow I feel is a sorrow I am eternally thankful for. My uncle whose funeral was today was a man who for as long as I can remember faced such adversity and struggles in life and he suffered greatly from them. I can not recall anyone else I know that has been through all that he has and although he was ready to give up a few times, he never did. He fell victim to his circumstances, but he was no less a man for it because such issues could only be resolved by the supernatural and on Friday morning they were. His life was a constant wave of highs and lows and I can't help but resent the fact that he went out right when he seemed to be overcoming it all because I felt like he could have truly started to enjoy this life and be content with it, but how foolish am I to forget that he is experiencing that more than ever now and it is far greater than anything he could have felt here on earth. Thank God he went out on a high note. During that moment of worship tonight with tears streaming down my face as all I could feel was the agony of those I love I began to listen to the lyrics of the song that we were singing. At that moment, when all I could feel was pain and anguish I heard the body of Christ sing out the words "When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me." The song goes on to say "And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don't have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about the way that He loves us." No matter what adversity we face or what hardships we have to endure, none of it comes close to measuring up to God and what He has done for us through His love. Though it's hard to accept at times, as I certainly wasn't accepting it today, there is nothing too big for our God to handle. There is no pain too great for Him to heal. There is no death too difficult for Him to overcome because He has already overcome death, He has defeated the grave and it is exactly for this reason that we can rejoice because death no longer has its sting. Let us be thankful when hardships come our way because after we breathe our last here, whatever we have faced here is gone, it is wiped away forever by an eternity of comfort and peace found in Christ Jesus alone. Jesus said "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5: 4) Our comfort is coming, but it must wait. This thought is no better summed up than by James when he says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4) Today, in this season of thanksgiving, I am thankful for the lives and deaths of those I love, I am thankful for the pain I feel when those I love open themselves up to me with their burdens, I am thankful for the trials of this world that far too often seem like more than I can handle, but mostly, I am thankful for a God who has already overcome it all.
Connection
I wish to share in the experiences of other people's lives. I wish, if for just a moment, partake in their own story. I wish to make some sort of positive impact on others even if in the slightest degree. I wish to connect, not for my own sake but for theirs. I wish not to intrude nor burden. I wish not to exclude nor guilt. I wish to be a man who stands for others upon the shoulders of character and righteousness. I'll even do the heavy lifting.
My Life's Prayer
I refuse to fall to the temptations of this world any longer because there is so much more at stake here than just me and my wants, there are other people's lives on the line, their eternity. This life is not about me. This life is about God and about His children. From now on, may every single one of my actions be used as a way to serve God and to serve others. I resign my freedom and my wishes to God and by doing so I put my complete faith in Him in knowing that He knows what's best for my life and will carry it out far greater than I ever could. This is my prayer and this is my life's motto, may it be etched into my heart as long as it continues to beat.
Conviction of the Believer
Conviction of the Believer
Far too often we sit in the pew once and week and believe that we have met some spiritual quota of ours for the week. Are we truly saved at this point? To experience the true love of God and His forgiveness, how can we not be truly changed by this? How can we possibly see our religion as a burden rather than a gift? For far too long that was me and now that I have truly been changed by God's mercy alone I wish that upon everyone. I think that change and conviction in the believer is just as important to our ministry and evangelism as is the change and conviction of the unbeliever. The Great Commission says to go and make DISCIPLES of all the nations, disciples. The definition of a disciple (according to a dictionary off of an online search engine) is "1. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another. 2. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy." I don't know about you, but to me that doesn't sound like someone who feels burdened to wake up early once a week and listen to some guy talk then proceed to go about their regular lives. What we are doing now isn't cutting it.
Far too often we sit in the pew once and week and believe that we have met some spiritual quota of ours for the week. Are we truly saved at this point? To experience the true love of God and His forgiveness, how can we not be truly changed by this? How can we possibly see our religion as a burden rather than a gift? For far too long that was me and now that I have truly been changed by God's mercy alone I wish that upon everyone. I think that change and conviction in the believer is just as important to our ministry and evangelism as is the change and conviction of the unbeliever. The Great Commission says to go and make DISCIPLES of all the nations, disciples. The definition of a disciple (according to a dictionary off of an online search engine) is "1. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another. 2. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy." I don't know about you, but to me that doesn't sound like someone who feels burdened to wake up early once a week and listen to some guy talk then proceed to go about their regular lives. What we are doing now isn't cutting it.
Our Second Death
Our Second Death
"I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time." - Banksy.
This quote I remember coming across a while back and it ties in very well to this struggle or issue I've been wrestling with over the past month or so. Allow me to make a statement of my belief and then give my reasoning as to why I have this belief. When I die I wish to quickly fade out into vague obscurity yet this is a fear or worry of sorts that I have for those whom I love. Allow me to first explain my worry for others. I remember when my uncle and my grandmother both passed during my earlier years and they used to be so close to me and I loved them and always thought about them and now I hardly remember them and can't even remember the sounds of their voices. I think of those who I know and love now at 19 and how I couldn't imagine my life without them and yet if they were to go now, when I'm a man in my 30's or 40's they would be nothing more to an occasional memory that seldom crosses my mind and that terrifies me. These people are such an instrumental part of my life and have given me so much that I would never want to forget what they've done for me and how they've affected me. And yet at the same time I wish for myself to fall out into the recesses. Mainly this is because I don't wish to be known but I think mainly it has to do with not wishing the pain or hurt of loss onto those whom I love or maybe for them to continue on in their lives. And maybe my reasoning for that statement comes from some pretentious mindset I have that I'm willing to bear the burden of loss or pain, but I don't know. I don't even know if these words are explaining my belief fully or truly. I guess this is ultimately a losing battle I have against time, but that second death that Banksy describes is the much worse death in my opinion, the agony I feel for the losses of loved ones doesn't come from their physical absence because as a Christian I know that they are much better off now than they ever were here and I remember all the good times spent with them but I think it comes from the second death, where I don't even remember those good times and don't even realize the love that I've lost by that second death. Similarly why do people fear Alzheimer's or view it as so tragic, to the person with it I don't imagine any horror or misery to come from it but it's the thought of forgetting oneself and those around them that is what is truly awful. If I myself were to die I wish for everyone I know to move on and rarely reminisce of me, I would hate to see my parents for instance to be caught up on me because it removes focus from their true purpose and mission here which goes far beyond raising a kid. Maybe there is some middle ground I just refuse to see here but I rather not run the risk there. I hope that I make a huge impact for the better on everyone I come in contact with, but I wish for it to continue when I'm gone, not be remembered.
"I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time." - Banksy.
This quote I remember coming across a while back and it ties in very well to this struggle or issue I've been wrestling with over the past month or so. Allow me to make a statement of my belief and then give my reasoning as to why I have this belief. When I die I wish to quickly fade out into vague obscurity yet this is a fear or worry of sorts that I have for those whom I love. Allow me to first explain my worry for others. I remember when my uncle and my grandmother both passed during my earlier years and they used to be so close to me and I loved them and always thought about them and now I hardly remember them and can't even remember the sounds of their voices. I think of those who I know and love now at 19 and how I couldn't imagine my life without them and yet if they were to go now, when I'm a man in my 30's or 40's they would be nothing more to an occasional memory that seldom crosses my mind and that terrifies me. These people are such an instrumental part of my life and have given me so much that I would never want to forget what they've done for me and how they've affected me. And yet at the same time I wish for myself to fall out into the recesses. Mainly this is because I don't wish to be known but I think mainly it has to do with not wishing the pain or hurt of loss onto those whom I love or maybe for them to continue on in their lives. And maybe my reasoning for that statement comes from some pretentious mindset I have that I'm willing to bear the burden of loss or pain, but I don't know. I don't even know if these words are explaining my belief fully or truly. I guess this is ultimately a losing battle I have against time, but that second death that Banksy describes is the much worse death in my opinion, the agony I feel for the losses of loved ones doesn't come from their physical absence because as a Christian I know that they are much better off now than they ever were here and I remember all the good times spent with them but I think it comes from the second death, where I don't even remember those good times and don't even realize the love that I've lost by that second death. Similarly why do people fear Alzheimer's or view it as so tragic, to the person with it I don't imagine any horror or misery to come from it but it's the thought of forgetting oneself and those around them that is what is truly awful. If I myself were to die I wish for everyone I know to move on and rarely reminisce of me, I would hate to see my parents for instance to be caught up on me because it removes focus from their true purpose and mission here which goes far beyond raising a kid. Maybe there is some middle ground I just refuse to see here but I rather not run the risk there. I hope that I make a huge impact for the better on everyone I come in contact with, but I wish for it to continue when I'm gone, not be remembered.
Living Above Reproach
Living Above Reproach
Around a year ago now when I started my journey back to God I remember being on our fall retreat and during worship I remember seeing a vision of sorts of myself being harassed by demons as the sun rose and they then fled from me as if they could no longer affect me. Now of course I still sin and fall but ever since that I've been trying to live my life completely devoid of sin, and my goal from that day forward has been to live a life above reproach. My friend Aaron was telling me about his mentor of the faith still struggles with sin, and his mentor, and his mentor, the truth is as long as we live in this dichotomy of flesh vs spirit the flesh will always have a place at the table, but it's how we limit the flesh and respond when we fall to it. For me this reminds me of a mathematical equation. Whenever there is a limit of a function at X, and as the function approaches X it's limit is infinity, there is never a point on that function when it has reached the limit infinity, but it gets infinitesimally close to it and that's how I view sin in our life. We can never live a life completely absent of sin but we can work on it and get infinitesimally close to that goal. Now the closer we get to that goal, there are many advantages to it. First off, we draw closer to God as we live more in His likeness, but also we become a more vibrant light in this world in order to draw those out of darkness to the light. We live our lives as examples of Christ and simply by our actions we further the case for Christ. By living this life above reproach we draw ourselves closer to God while also drawing others closer to Him as well, which is ultimately why we are here. The thing that really hurts me though and that I'm still trying to figure out how to handle is that the closer we get to this goal the harder it hurts when we do fall to the temptations of the flesh. I believe the reason for this is that we know more of the good and so though bad is just all the more further from it and that larger gap or separation is where that larger pain comes from but the beauty of it all is that it allows all the more for grace to abound. So I encourage you as I write this to really encourage myself in continuing to constantly strive towards this goal and to not be distraught when we fall short at times, just allow it to further push and motivate us as we continue down this path of life.
Around a year ago now when I started my journey back to God I remember being on our fall retreat and during worship I remember seeing a vision of sorts of myself being harassed by demons as the sun rose and they then fled from me as if they could no longer affect me. Now of course I still sin and fall but ever since that I've been trying to live my life completely devoid of sin, and my goal from that day forward has been to live a life above reproach. My friend Aaron was telling me about his mentor of the faith still struggles with sin, and his mentor, and his mentor, the truth is as long as we live in this dichotomy of flesh vs spirit the flesh will always have a place at the table, but it's how we limit the flesh and respond when we fall to it. For me this reminds me of a mathematical equation. Whenever there is a limit of a function at X, and as the function approaches X it's limit is infinity, there is never a point on that function when it has reached the limit infinity, but it gets infinitesimally close to it and that's how I view sin in our life. We can never live a life completely absent of sin but we can work on it and get infinitesimally close to that goal. Now the closer we get to that goal, there are many advantages to it. First off, we draw closer to God as we live more in His likeness, but also we become a more vibrant light in this world in order to draw those out of darkness to the light. We live our lives as examples of Christ and simply by our actions we further the case for Christ. By living this life above reproach we draw ourselves closer to God while also drawing others closer to Him as well, which is ultimately why we are here. The thing that really hurts me though and that I'm still trying to figure out how to handle is that the closer we get to this goal the harder it hurts when we do fall to the temptations of the flesh. I believe the reason for this is that we know more of the good and so though bad is just all the more further from it and that larger gap or separation is where that larger pain comes from but the beauty of it all is that it allows all the more for grace to abound. So I encourage you as I write this to really encourage myself in continuing to constantly strive towards this goal and to not be distraught when we fall short at times, just allow it to further push and motivate us as we continue down this path of life.
Atheism, Agnosticism, and Theism (A Review of Plantinga's Ontological Argument)
Atheism, Agnosticism, and Theism
Many wish to claim that Atheism is a lack of belief in God, which is completely false. If it is a lack of belief, then it is simply one's mental state and can be neither true nor false. And on that basis, inanimate objects and animals are atheists since both lack a belief in God. Atheism is therefore the claim that there is no God. So there is Theism ("there is a God"), Agnosticism ("it is possible that there is a God"), and Atheism ("there is no God"). But then we see that Agnosticism really doesn't even exist and that is due to the Ontological Argument which states: "1. It is possible that a greatest conceivable being exists (namely all powerful and transcendent).
2. If it is possible that a greatest conceivable being exists, then a greatest conceivable being exists in some possible world.
3. If a greatest conceivable being exists in some possible world, then a greatest conceivable being exists in every possible world.
4. If a greatest conceivable being exists in every possible world, then a greatest conceivable being exists in the actual world.
5. If a greatest conceivable being exists in the actual world, then a greatest conceivable being exists.
6. Therefore a greatest conceivable being exists." So simply by default, if it is possible that God exists, then God must exist. So there is really only Theism and Atheism which respectively make the claims that "God exists" and "God does not exist" and therefore are equal claims and then equally share the burden of proof.
Many wish to claim that Atheism is a lack of belief in God, which is completely false. If it is a lack of belief, then it is simply one's mental state and can be neither true nor false. And on that basis, inanimate objects and animals are atheists since both lack a belief in God. Atheism is therefore the claim that there is no God. So there is Theism ("there is a God"), Agnosticism ("it is possible that there is a God"), and Atheism ("there is no God"). But then we see that Agnosticism really doesn't even exist and that is due to the Ontological Argument which states: "1. It is possible that a greatest conceivable being exists (namely all powerful and transcendent).
2. If it is possible that a greatest conceivable being exists, then a greatest conceivable being exists in some possible world.
3. If a greatest conceivable being exists in some possible world, then a greatest conceivable being exists in every possible world.
4. If a greatest conceivable being exists in every possible world, then a greatest conceivable being exists in the actual world.
5. If a greatest conceivable being exists in the actual world, then a greatest conceivable being exists.
6. Therefore a greatest conceivable being exists." So simply by default, if it is possible that God exists, then God must exist. So there is really only Theism and Atheism which respectively make the claims that "God exists" and "God does not exist" and therefore are equal claims and then equally share the burden of proof.
Death (again)
Death
I went with my youth group to Student Life one year and heard Afshin Ziafat speak. One of his messages included the story of BJ Higgins, a boy who was on fire for God and died at 15 on a mission trip, but through his death, many came to Christ and churches around Africa sprang up. Talking with a friend of mine about BJ, she told me that it sounded as if Afshin was saying that God caused BJ's death, to which I assured her that I'm sure he simply meant that God can use any bad circumstance for the greater good, but it got me thinking. What is so blasphemous with saying that God caused his death? A friend of mine named Aaron told me the story of a youth minister who prayed that if his death would cause a revival in the youth, that he was willing to go. That night he died in a car wreck and his best friend wrote the song "How He Loves Us" the next day about his death. So again I ask, why is it so blasphemous to say God took his life? If I am to truly say I give God my entire life, part of my life is my death, so I then concede to him my death as well. If through my death more people will come to know Him, then it would be the right thing for me to die. I thought about this revelation and it scared me, because I realized that I never actually gave God my entire life, because I wasn't ready to die. I rationed it out that it would devastate my family (I encourage you to read 2 Samuel 12:15-23), or that I wanted to experience college first, but it was all excuses. We have to focus on what truly matters. I finally came to actually giving God my entire life and it was quite a sobering feeling, to know that you can die at any instant, but it's tranquil as well. I am more than ready to shed this mortal coil (to borrow from Shakespeare) if that means the further advancement of the Kingdom. I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. In response to all the tragic shootings that have occurred, Vince Gill wrote a song called "Threaten Me With Heaven" where he says that the worst that these shooters can do is just send him to heaven. What a simple yet profound statement. If the presence of God is what waits for us after this life, why not want to leave here? With that I leave you with the words of Paul in Philippians 1:20-26, notice here that he realizes that wether through death or life, whichever is more necessary he is convinced will occur: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me."
I went with my youth group to Student Life one year and heard Afshin Ziafat speak. One of his messages included the story of BJ Higgins, a boy who was on fire for God and died at 15 on a mission trip, but through his death, many came to Christ and churches around Africa sprang up. Talking with a friend of mine about BJ, she told me that it sounded as if Afshin was saying that God caused BJ's death, to which I assured her that I'm sure he simply meant that God can use any bad circumstance for the greater good, but it got me thinking. What is so blasphemous with saying that God caused his death? A friend of mine named Aaron told me the story of a youth minister who prayed that if his death would cause a revival in the youth, that he was willing to go. That night he died in a car wreck and his best friend wrote the song "How He Loves Us" the next day about his death. So again I ask, why is it so blasphemous to say God took his life? If I am to truly say I give God my entire life, part of my life is my death, so I then concede to him my death as well. If through my death more people will come to know Him, then it would be the right thing for me to die. I thought about this revelation and it scared me, because I realized that I never actually gave God my entire life, because I wasn't ready to die. I rationed it out that it would devastate my family (I encourage you to read 2 Samuel 12:15-23), or that I wanted to experience college first, but it was all excuses. We have to focus on what truly matters. I finally came to actually giving God my entire life and it was quite a sobering feeling, to know that you can die at any instant, but it's tranquil as well. I am more than ready to shed this mortal coil (to borrow from Shakespeare) if that means the further advancement of the Kingdom. I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. In response to all the tragic shootings that have occurred, Vince Gill wrote a song called "Threaten Me With Heaven" where he says that the worst that these shooters can do is just send him to heaven. What a simple yet profound statement. If the presence of God is what waits for us after this life, why not want to leave here? With that I leave you with the words of Paul in Philippians 1:20-26, notice here that he realizes that wether through death or life, whichever is more necessary he is convinced will occur: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me."
Underage Drinking (Or Any Other Law)
Underage Drinking (Or Any Other Law)
Being a freshman in college, I am asked why I don't drink. The truth of the matter is I believe in objective morality, and with it the command of obeying the laws of the land. If there is a strict line, namely the law, which dictates what is and is not permissible and yet we choose to draw the line where we see fit, we are endorsing relativism and therefore the line could then be drawn wherever each individual deems fit. When it comes to underage drinking or disregarding any other law there are two subcategories of people: those who don't have the conviction to stand on their principles and those who don't care. I don't wish to belong to either group.
Being a freshman in college, I am asked why I don't drink. The truth of the matter is I believe in objective morality, and with it the command of obeying the laws of the land. If there is a strict line, namely the law, which dictates what is and is not permissible and yet we choose to draw the line where we see fit, we are endorsing relativism and therefore the line could then be drawn wherever each individual deems fit. When it comes to underage drinking or disregarding any other law there are two subcategories of people: those who don't have the conviction to stand on their principles and those who don't care. I don't wish to belong to either group.
Spiritual High
Spiritual High
This term seems to come up quite a bit in regards to Christian camps or missions, and somehow people always fall subject to the spiritual high, or temporary passion for God before falling subject to sin and temptation yet again. The fall or valleys really affect these people too, because of how moody or untested they see their spirituality to really be. The truth of the matter is that there is no escaping this spiritual high, nor should we try, but instead we should rather redefine it. Allow me to explain, at said camp or mission we are completely isolated from the outside world, we are in this bubble where temptation is either severely limited or nonexistent altogether. When we leave the bubble, because of our corrupt nature, we will fall to sin and temptation again, so that high will wear off, that's just a part of being in the world, and we can't cut ourself off from the world and remain in this bubble because there is no means of reaching out to the lost and damned in that. And that's not to say we flee from these "bubble opportunities" because escaping from it all temporarily is essential to realigning priorities and spurring spiritual growth. The key to it all is this however, though we may always face highs and lows, there is still an overall projection, the question then becomes is it facing upwards or horizontally? We will be seeing that high wear off, but are we constantly growing in our faith? If we are, then it gets to the point where our valleys down the road will still be higher than our peaks in the present. That is what's so crucial. If we don't allow that high to spur this growth, then it becomes stagnant overall and eventually our spirituality will flatline (I do believe there is a pun in there). So do not fear the spiritual high or try to escape it or it's inevitable come down, but rather allow it to serve its purpose and cause us to discipline ourselves in order to grow in knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures, the God who divinely inspired them, and ultimately grow in our relationship with Him.
This term seems to come up quite a bit in regards to Christian camps or missions, and somehow people always fall subject to the spiritual high, or temporary passion for God before falling subject to sin and temptation yet again. The fall or valleys really affect these people too, because of how moody or untested they see their spirituality to really be. The truth of the matter is that there is no escaping this spiritual high, nor should we try, but instead we should rather redefine it. Allow me to explain, at said camp or mission we are completely isolated from the outside world, we are in this bubble where temptation is either severely limited or nonexistent altogether. When we leave the bubble, because of our corrupt nature, we will fall to sin and temptation again, so that high will wear off, that's just a part of being in the world, and we can't cut ourself off from the world and remain in this bubble because there is no means of reaching out to the lost and damned in that. And that's not to say we flee from these "bubble opportunities" because escaping from it all temporarily is essential to realigning priorities and spurring spiritual growth. The key to it all is this however, though we may always face highs and lows, there is still an overall projection, the question then becomes is it facing upwards or horizontally? We will be seeing that high wear off, but are we constantly growing in our faith? If we are, then it gets to the point where our valleys down the road will still be higher than our peaks in the present. That is what's so crucial. If we don't allow that high to spur this growth, then it becomes stagnant overall and eventually our spirituality will flatline (I do believe there is a pun in there). So do not fear the spiritual high or try to escape it or it's inevitable come down, but rather allow it to serve its purpose and cause us to discipline ourselves in order to grow in knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures, the God who divinely inspired them, and ultimately grow in our relationship with Him.
Apathy prerevised (My College Essay)
Apathy prerevised
Choose an issue of importance to you—the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope—and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
When reading the prompt, I immediately knew that I wanted to write on apathy. I have thought countless hours on the issue because it is so rampant nowadays and affects all aspects of life. Apathy is destroying this country, and it especially affects my generation.
To begin, Politics is probably the easiest example to give. Everyone will talk about how corrupt some politicians may be and how they should be thrown out of office, but when asked how they plan to do anything about it, you quickly discover that talking is about as far as people are willing to go. Most won't even vote the next election in order to remove the politician, or they will actually vote for them! When asked why they would do such a thing, they simply claim "it's just politics as usual, we can't do anything to change it." Which I truly believe is a self fulfilling prophecy. By thinking they can't do anything or not caring enough to try to do anything, they simply accept the results as inevitable when the fact of the matter is the results are really consequences created directly from their own actions (or lack of). If you want a political leader out of office, form a grass roots campaign, donate to the opponent, go hand out fliers, tell a friend, at the very least get out and vote! And what's worse is my generation now votes based not on credentials, but on "who seems cooler" or "who is hotter." If you vote one way or the other, that's fine, but vote for who you believe will best represent you, not who you would rather have a beer with. Which brings me to my next point, in America, the people control the government, not the other way around. Somewhere in the recent past this ideology has been reversed and we couldn't care enough to make it right. This country is headed in the wrong direction and it can be directly linked to apathy. Our country has nearly $16,000,000,000,000 of debt and we sit and ponder how we can keep voting for the same crooks year after year.
Being a senior in high school, I see apathy run rampantly in my peers over school, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I have felt the same way before as well. School is not only meant to educate yourself, but also to teach you how to continue to educate yourself after you leave as well as preparing you for the real world. So what life lessons are we learning by not doing our homework or not studying for a test because we "don't feel like it" or rather watch a movie? How is this preparing ourselves for the outside world? It is crippling my generation and causing thousands of kids to graduate each year without the maturity or understanding to be able to make it on their own, which in turn not only affects my generation, but affects all.
The two things you aren't suppose to discuss with people are politics and religion. Well I've already mentioned one to you, now it is time to tackle the other. Being a Christian, I receive my morals from my beliefs. And chances are you receive your morals from your beliefs. Religion (or atheism) tells you who you are, where you came from, what your purpose is, how you should live your life, and where you're going. So what happens when you don't care enough to follow or at least understand what you claim to believe? We see an all time high in crime, divorce, incarceration, and single parents. Not to mention moral relativism and a lack of understanding or caring for other people. I am not here to preach or harp on about how awful we as a generation are becoming, but whatever you wish to believe, believe with a whole heart and show compassion to those around you.
Now I speak like I have authority on the issue and have overcome apathy and share my two cents in order to release others from their captivity to it. The truth of the matter is I still struggle with apathy, as we all do. And I honestly believe it is an issue that will always haunt each and every one of us until the grave. The question is how do we as a whole respond to this issue? Do we simply talk or do we do something about it?
Choose an issue of importance to you—the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope—and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
When reading the prompt, I immediately knew that I wanted to write on apathy. I have thought countless hours on the issue because it is so rampant nowadays and affects all aspects of life. Apathy is destroying this country, and it especially affects my generation.
To begin, Politics is probably the easiest example to give. Everyone will talk about how corrupt some politicians may be and how they should be thrown out of office, but when asked how they plan to do anything about it, you quickly discover that talking is about as far as people are willing to go. Most won't even vote the next election in order to remove the politician, or they will actually vote for them! When asked why they would do such a thing, they simply claim "it's just politics as usual, we can't do anything to change it." Which I truly believe is a self fulfilling prophecy. By thinking they can't do anything or not caring enough to try to do anything, they simply accept the results as inevitable when the fact of the matter is the results are really consequences created directly from their own actions (or lack of). If you want a political leader out of office, form a grass roots campaign, donate to the opponent, go hand out fliers, tell a friend, at the very least get out and vote! And what's worse is my generation now votes based not on credentials, but on "who seems cooler" or "who is hotter." If you vote one way or the other, that's fine, but vote for who you believe will best represent you, not who you would rather have a beer with. Which brings me to my next point, in America, the people control the government, not the other way around. Somewhere in the recent past this ideology has been reversed and we couldn't care enough to make it right. This country is headed in the wrong direction and it can be directly linked to apathy. Our country has nearly $16,000,000,000,000 of debt and we sit and ponder how we can keep voting for the same crooks year after year.
Being a senior in high school, I see apathy run rampantly in my peers over school, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I have felt the same way before as well. School is not only meant to educate yourself, but also to teach you how to continue to educate yourself after you leave as well as preparing you for the real world. So what life lessons are we learning by not doing our homework or not studying for a test because we "don't feel like it" or rather watch a movie? How is this preparing ourselves for the outside world? It is crippling my generation and causing thousands of kids to graduate each year without the maturity or understanding to be able to make it on their own, which in turn not only affects my generation, but affects all.
The two things you aren't suppose to discuss with people are politics and religion. Well I've already mentioned one to you, now it is time to tackle the other. Being a Christian, I receive my morals from my beliefs. And chances are you receive your morals from your beliefs. Religion (or atheism) tells you who you are, where you came from, what your purpose is, how you should live your life, and where you're going. So what happens when you don't care enough to follow or at least understand what you claim to believe? We see an all time high in crime, divorce, incarceration, and single parents. Not to mention moral relativism and a lack of understanding or caring for other people. I am not here to preach or harp on about how awful we as a generation are becoming, but whatever you wish to believe, believe with a whole heart and show compassion to those around you.
Now I speak like I have authority on the issue and have overcome apathy and share my two cents in order to release others from their captivity to it. The truth of the matter is I still struggle with apathy, as we all do. And I honestly believe it is an issue that will always haunt each and every one of us until the grave. The question is how do we as a whole respond to this issue? Do we simply talk or do we do something about it?
Pain
Pain
More and more I see pain in people's lives and even some in my own. It kills me to see other suffer and suffering myself is no fun either, but I do believe pain to be a great teacher. Pain can teach us whole new lessons or simply those which we choose to ignore. When I was real young I remember my mom telling me to not touch the stove, I knew it was hot but I wanted to find out for myself and let me tell you, I have never touched a stove since. Sure, we can learn from others, as I should have with my mother's warning, but sometimes we are arrogant and strong headed enough to ignore such heeds. Now I am not suggesting that pain is caused due to our arrogance or even that it is a good thing, I am simply saying that we need to further ourselves in every situation and learn from our experiences, both good and bad.
More and more I see pain in people's lives and even some in my own. It kills me to see other suffer and suffering myself is no fun either, but I do believe pain to be a great teacher. Pain can teach us whole new lessons or simply those which we choose to ignore. When I was real young I remember my mom telling me to not touch the stove, I knew it was hot but I wanted to find out for myself and let me tell you, I have never touched a stove since. Sure, we can learn from others, as I should have with my mother's warning, but sometimes we are arrogant and strong headed enough to ignore such heeds. Now I am not suggesting that pain is caused due to our arrogance or even that it is a good thing, I am simply saying that we need to further ourselves in every situation and learn from our experiences, both good and bad.
Fighting my Age (Prejudices)
Fighting my Age (Prejudices)
My entire life I have felt like I have had to fight my age. Growing up I took an avid interest in politics at an early age. I also have had many of the thoughts I am sharing since I was young as well, but no matter how hard I try to prove myself or how well I may stand my ground in any discussion or debate, I have always been discredited. I was foolish enough to believe that would change with middle school, then becoming a teenager, then highschool, then becoming a legal adult as I am now. I refuse to allow myself the opportunity to make a fool of me again as I prepare to be discredited not only for my college years, but my whole life. I realize that people will make any excuse possible to discredit me, as they will with you, but the trick is to fight through that. It doesn't matter if they dismiss me, if I persist on my thoughts, eventually they will be heard, and I believe that to be true with any prejudice. It's funny though, many times the ones dismissing will claim to be fighting prejudices of their own. We must be sure to steer clear of that. I understand that many, in fact all, people you will encounter in life have had some type of rough experiences or pain caused on them and we must sympathize with that, but we can't allow for our past wrongs to dictate our present and mistreat others in some attempt for vengeance all those years ago. All it leads to is hypocrisy and even further division.
My entire life I have felt like I have had to fight my age. Growing up I took an avid interest in politics at an early age. I also have had many of the thoughts I am sharing since I was young as well, but no matter how hard I try to prove myself or how well I may stand my ground in any discussion or debate, I have always been discredited. I was foolish enough to believe that would change with middle school, then becoming a teenager, then highschool, then becoming a legal adult as I am now. I refuse to allow myself the opportunity to make a fool of me again as I prepare to be discredited not only for my college years, but my whole life. I realize that people will make any excuse possible to discredit me, as they will with you, but the trick is to fight through that. It doesn't matter if they dismiss me, if I persist on my thoughts, eventually they will be heard, and I believe that to be true with any prejudice. It's funny though, many times the ones dismissing will claim to be fighting prejudices of their own. We must be sure to steer clear of that. I understand that many, in fact all, people you will encounter in life have had some type of rough experiences or pain caused on them and we must sympathize with that, but we can't allow for our past wrongs to dictate our present and mistreat others in some attempt for vengeance all those years ago. All it leads to is hypocrisy and even further division.
Fear
Fear
I've always had a strange mentality when it comes to fear, because I don't have any, and I don't say that in a "look how tough I am" type of manner either. Through conversations with many of my friends I find that many have a fear of not amounting to anything or not being remembered, which is a perfectly legitimate fear, but for me fear has always worked differently. I have the mindset that if I can do something about it, my time is better used handling the situation rather than fear over it, and if I can't control it, then there is no point fearing what is out of your control.
I've always had a strange mentality when it comes to fear, because I don't have any, and I don't say that in a "look how tough I am" type of manner either. Through conversations with many of my friends I find that many have a fear of not amounting to anything or not being remembered, which is a perfectly legitimate fear, but for me fear has always worked differently. I have the mindset that if I can do something about it, my time is better used handling the situation rather than fear over it, and if I can't control it, then there is no point fearing what is out of your control.
Pain and Evangelism
Pain and Evangelism
Lately I've really had the urge when I hear of pain an suffering to just go back in time and save people from their troubles, it may sound weird and I can't really explain it, but I just hate to see suffering. The truth of it is though that the pain and suffering is what makes us. It may not define us, but it does distinguish us. Now having said that, we shouldn't encourage pain or instigate it, in fact we should try to prevent it, but it does teach a great lesson if we allow it to. I think the key is to help heal those that are hurting now, and do our best to prevent suffering for others. But this is where the oxygen mask theory comes into play, as I like to call it. You know, when you hear the instructions on airplanes and they say "before assisting others with their masks, make sure yours is on first." We can't help others if we can't first help ourselves. Now that's not to say that we must be healed in order to help, in fact many times its easier to overcome something if you are going through it or something similarly with someone else, but we need to be healing. And the theory applies to evangelism as well. We don't have to be perfect before we spread the Gospel, but we must be working on ourselves, otherwise we are mere hypocrites. When it comes to pain and witnessing alike, we must first work on ourselves and then help and be there for others, seeing everyone as true equals in the Eyes of the Lord, all sons and daughters of the Most High. We must learn to love our neighbor as ourself and then spreading the gospel and helping those who are hurting become second nature to us.
Lately I've really had the urge when I hear of pain an suffering to just go back in time and save people from their troubles, it may sound weird and I can't really explain it, but I just hate to see suffering. The truth of it is though that the pain and suffering is what makes us. It may not define us, but it does distinguish us. Now having said that, we shouldn't encourage pain or instigate it, in fact we should try to prevent it, but it does teach a great lesson if we allow it to. I think the key is to help heal those that are hurting now, and do our best to prevent suffering for others. But this is where the oxygen mask theory comes into play, as I like to call it. You know, when you hear the instructions on airplanes and they say "before assisting others with their masks, make sure yours is on first." We can't help others if we can't first help ourselves. Now that's not to say that we must be healed in order to help, in fact many times its easier to overcome something if you are going through it or something similarly with someone else, but we need to be healing. And the theory applies to evangelism as well. We don't have to be perfect before we spread the Gospel, but we must be working on ourselves, otherwise we are mere hypocrites. When it comes to pain and witnessing alike, we must first work on ourselves and then help and be there for others, seeing everyone as true equals in the Eyes of the Lord, all sons and daughters of the Most High. We must learn to love our neighbor as ourself and then spreading the gospel and helping those who are hurting become second nature to us.
Slaves to Sin/Righteousness
Slave to Sin/Righteousness
Romans 6:18
You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Paul says that we were slaves to sin, but now we are slaves to righteousness. It's funny to me that we are slaves either way, because we try so desperately to be in control, to be the head, but we are always submissive to some higher power. The truth of the matter is that we are creation, we are not the creators. We were made by a higher power and therefore it is our very nature to be submissive to a higher power. It's interesting to see just how hard it is for us to admit this and how desperately we seek to escape this fact. Many religions and cults have been made to say we are gods or will become gods. Evolution apart from God claims that we will continue to evolve with the end desire to become gods, 2001: A Space Odyssey is a perfect representation of this belief. We stray from the God who loves us and has our best interest at heart simply because we are rebellious and think we can then experience true freedom, yet we fail to grasp the big picture as that we are just submitting ourselves to sin rather than God. A good friend of mine named Stephen Mackey told me this when I brought up this point, imagine we are playing a basketball game. If we make up our own rules, tons of people can be on the court, there can be traveling, a shot can be worth whatever you wish, there's no out of bounds; the game becomes complete and utter chaos. But by submitting to the rules of the game, that is when we can truly appreciate it and enjoy it. We try to find freedom by submitting to sin, but it is by submitting to God that we find true freedom.
Romans 6:18
You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Paul says that we were slaves to sin, but now we are slaves to righteousness. It's funny to me that we are slaves either way, because we try so desperately to be in control, to be the head, but we are always submissive to some higher power. The truth of the matter is that we are creation, we are not the creators. We were made by a higher power and therefore it is our very nature to be submissive to a higher power. It's interesting to see just how hard it is for us to admit this and how desperately we seek to escape this fact. Many religions and cults have been made to say we are gods or will become gods. Evolution apart from God claims that we will continue to evolve with the end desire to become gods, 2001: A Space Odyssey is a perfect representation of this belief. We stray from the God who loves us and has our best interest at heart simply because we are rebellious and think we can then experience true freedom, yet we fail to grasp the big picture as that we are just submitting ourselves to sin rather than God. A good friend of mine named Stephen Mackey told me this when I brought up this point, imagine we are playing a basketball game. If we make up our own rules, tons of people can be on the court, there can be traveling, a shot can be worth whatever you wish, there's no out of bounds; the game becomes complete and utter chaos. But by submitting to the rules of the game, that is when we can truly appreciate it and enjoy it. We try to find freedom by submitting to sin, but it is by submitting to God that we find true freedom.
Death
Death
We are given at most 100 years on this earth, and we are eternal beings. This lifetime will pass in the blink of an eye, we are just too caught up in the moment to accept this truth. If our lives are cut short, know that the separation is not but a passing moment. The good news is death is not the end. Death is the beginning. Through death we live. We live because of Christ's death. Death has lost its sting due to Jesus Christ overcoming the grave. If Christ had not died on our behalf, there would be no hope and there would be no life. Even this lifetime would be considered as death. But His Sacrifice has removed it all, and now death is the fruition of our faith. It is when we become our desired selves, our perfected selves to spend eternity with God, 3 in 1. If I were to die tomorrow (which is always a very real probability since life truly is so fragile) take comfort and peace in knowing that the grave does not mean goodbye. Rejoice.
We are given at most 100 years on this earth, and we are eternal beings. This lifetime will pass in the blink of an eye, we are just too caught up in the moment to accept this truth. If our lives are cut short, know that the separation is not but a passing moment. The good news is death is not the end. Death is the beginning. Through death we live. We live because of Christ's death. Death has lost its sting due to Jesus Christ overcoming the grave. If Christ had not died on our behalf, there would be no hope and there would be no life. Even this lifetime would be considered as death. But His Sacrifice has removed it all, and now death is the fruition of our faith. It is when we become our desired selves, our perfected selves to spend eternity with God, 3 in 1. If I were to die tomorrow (which is always a very real probability since life truly is so fragile) take comfort and peace in knowing that the grave does not mean goodbye. Rejoice.
Back From Nicaragua
Back From Nicaragua
For context, some friends and I were talking about our recent mission trip to Nicaragua and they were all saying how easy it was to grow in our faith there and to serve the people around us and how they wish that they could continue that back here in the states. They seemed to really be down because they couldn't continue what had begun in Nicaragua. This was my response to them.
"There's this book called "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad, and essentially it's during African Colinization and it deals with the fact that the more into the wilderness you go (stripping to the bare essentials) the true colors of your life start to come out. So the true jungle was London for breeding this evil in man but it came out in Africa because all the distractions from our true selves were taken. So that's how it was in Nica but to the opposite end. The trick is to find that time and isolationism with the scriptures and the children of God in order to fuel yourself to travel out into this jungle and into this heart of darkness to be the light. So really there shouldn't be a difference because just as many people who love the Lord are right here and just as many people who need the Lord are right here as well. Make today the start of a year long mission."
For context, some friends and I were talking about our recent mission trip to Nicaragua and they were all saying how easy it was to grow in our faith there and to serve the people around us and how they wish that they could continue that back here in the states. They seemed to really be down because they couldn't continue what had begun in Nicaragua. This was my response to them.
"There's this book called "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad, and essentially it's during African Colinization and it deals with the fact that the more into the wilderness you go (stripping to the bare essentials) the true colors of your life start to come out. So the true jungle was London for breeding this evil in man but it came out in Africa because all the distractions from our true selves were taken. So that's how it was in Nica but to the opposite end. The trick is to find that time and isolationism with the scriptures and the children of God in order to fuel yourself to travel out into this jungle and into this heart of darkness to be the light. So really there shouldn't be a difference because just as many people who love the Lord are right here and just as many people who need the Lord are right here as well. Make today the start of a year long mission."
Honduras
Honduras
I hear everyone talking about the culture shock and how they realize how blessed we are back home (which is great) but they say how much they pity the people here. A lot of us came to Honduras thinking we will be tools of God to bless God's people of Honduras, but then we're surprised to see God using His people in Honduras to bless us. The truth is God uses His people wherever they may be to further His Word, just like He blesses His people wherever they may be. We shouldn't pity them because we have more, because they are blessed just as much as we are, just in different ways. Living in America we are very physically blessed, while they are spiritually blessed. Which is apparent by what we did for them and what they did for us. We came and built houses, chicken coops, painted their church, planted coffee etc. But they gave us their love, friendship, prayer, and spoke God's Word to us. And there is nothing wrong with either blessing but physical blessings seem to make it easier for us to become arrogant and entitled which I believe is why Christ said it is easier for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God. We don't need to show pity to those who God is working through and intimately acquainted with, show pity to those who do not know him.
I hear everyone talking about the culture shock and how they realize how blessed we are back home (which is great) but they say how much they pity the people here. A lot of us came to Honduras thinking we will be tools of God to bless God's people of Honduras, but then we're surprised to see God using His people in Honduras to bless us. The truth is God uses His people wherever they may be to further His Word, just like He blesses His people wherever they may be. We shouldn't pity them because we have more, because they are blessed just as much as we are, just in different ways. Living in America we are very physically blessed, while they are spiritually blessed. Which is apparent by what we did for them and what they did for us. We came and built houses, chicken coops, painted their church, planted coffee etc. But they gave us their love, friendship, prayer, and spoke God's Word to us. And there is nothing wrong with either blessing but physical blessings seem to make it easier for us to become arrogant and entitled which I believe is why Christ said it is easier for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God. We don't need to show pity to those who God is working through and intimately acquainted with, show pity to those who do not know him.
Arguments for Morality and Purpose
Arguments for Morality and Purpose
Whenever having any discussion with another, whether it be politics, theology, philosophy, what have you, it is dire that we go into the conversation seeking the truth. We may believe we have the truth, but it is more important to find the truth rather than just be right. In a sense, we must have an open mind. So I urge you to open your mind as to what I am about to say and just seek the truth through it all. I believe this to be true, and simply wish to share the truth with you today. Now, having said that, let's begin.
Many people nowadays claim that people are over religious or take religion too seriously, and I would claim the exact opposite. Your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) tell you who you are, where you came from, what your purpose is (if any), how you should live your life, and where you're going. Before we can find any sense of direction in our lives we must first critically scrutinize our religious or areligious beliefs and the answers they give us as mentioned above. Once we have done that, we should then use what we've learned through this research to base how we should live our lives and what we should do with our lives. More and more people are beginning to subscribe to the atheistic viewpoint on life and I wish to explain this view fully and consicely while retaining brevity.
If we believe that there is no God, then we believe that life is merely accidental, that it is all by chance with no deliberate intent or purpose behind it. The building blocks for life coincidentally formed in the proper environment and went on from there. There is no real reason that life began to exist. That is to say, there is no purpose to life. Purpose is defined as "1. reason for existence:the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made
2. desired effect:the goal or intended outcome of something
3. determination:the desire or the resolve necessary to accomplish a goal
Synonyms: intention, intent, aim, object, objective, goal, target, end" by the very definition of the word "purpose" we can see that it must not apply to life for there is no reason or intention for its existence, and there certainly is no goal for it either. The definition of "meaning" is "1. something meant or intended : aim. 2. significant quality ; especially : implication of a hidden or special significance" Similarly to "purpose", we find that there is no meaning to life either if it was not meant or intended to be and there is no significant quality if it all happened by chance or accident. Many would still then argue that there can be a purpose if we give purpose to our own lives. To that I would then argue that we have no authority to grant a purpose because we are in and of ourselves meaningless and accidental. I would also point out that eventually humanity will be wiped out, wether the sun dies out, the galaxy grows too far apart for there to be warmth, or the universe implodes upon itself. If then the end result is innevitable and always the same no matter how we live our lives, there then can not be a purpose for there is no intended goal to be reached. The only logical reasoning is that life has not a meaning nor a purpose.
Leo Tolstoy put it this way in his "A Confession", "The question brought me to the edge of the abyss. What will come of what I do today and tomorrow? What will come of my entire life? Or expressed differently, why should I live? Why should I wish for anything or do anything? Or to put it another way, is there any meaning in life that will not be destroyed by my inevitably approaching death?
My deeds, whatever they may be, will be forgotten sooner or later, and I myself will be no more. Why then do anything? I therefore could not attach a rational meaning to a single act in my entire life. The only thing that amazed me is how I had failed to realize this from the very beginning. How could anyone fail to see this? That’s what is amazing. It’s possible to live as long as life intoxicates us, but once we’re sober, we cannot help seeing it’s all a delusion. There’s nothing funny or witty about it at all. It’s only cruel and stupid." I have yet to see how this logic can be disputed at all. So by this logic we can't even therefore say that we should just enjoy life in the moment because "it's only cruel and stupid"!
Now even though we can see that logically life has no purpose and is void of meaning, we still have such a hard time accepting it. The question then becomes: "why is that?" Why do we have such a yearning for meaning or purpose to our lives? I believe it is because we do have a purpose to our lives, but purpose can only come from a god or gods. If there is a divine being, then we were created intentionally and therefore with a purpose and now we can see that our lives then have meaning to them. So, if we don't accept God, we don't accept a purpose or meaning. If we don't accept a purpose or meaning, we don't accept any value or worth for life. If we don't accept any value or worth for life, we can then do whatever we wish (steal, murder, etc.)
If then we can do whatever we wish, then morality is either irrelevant or nonexistent, yet most of us subscribe to the idea of objective morality, and most of the people who subscribe to the idea of subjective morality really believe in objective morality as well. That is to say that a consensus would agree that we know what's right and wrong universally, and it is not subject to change with each individual. You wouldn't be fine with me taking your money from you because it is morally wrong to do so. Objective morality is non dependent upon our upbringing or our culture. For example, as William Lane Craig put it, the Holocaust would be morally wrong even if the Nazis won and succesfully killed or brainwashed anyone who disagreed with them on it, I would say that is a safe assumption. But how then can there be this moral obligation if there is no one to give us it? (That is not to say we must believe in God to acquire morality, but that we are designed with morality and have it wether we choose to accept Him or not) There couldn't possibly be morality without God because there couldn't be any worth or value in life and we couldn't be held to a higher standard or value if there is nothing above us to create it. Without God, morality is either due to our social conditions or evolution and is therefore relative or subjective. It is improper then for us to force our morality upon others with things such as laws.
Therefore, it concludes that without God, there can be no purpose or meaning to life as well as no such thing as morality. By denying God, we must deny morals and a purpose or meaning to our lives. I'm here to tell you your life does have meaning, purpose, and a moral obligation or duty and that is because there is a God.
Whenever having any discussion with another, whether it be politics, theology, philosophy, what have you, it is dire that we go into the conversation seeking the truth. We may believe we have the truth, but it is more important to find the truth rather than just be right. In a sense, we must have an open mind. So I urge you to open your mind as to what I am about to say and just seek the truth through it all. I believe this to be true, and simply wish to share the truth with you today. Now, having said that, let's begin.
Many people nowadays claim that people are over religious or take religion too seriously, and I would claim the exact opposite. Your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) tell you who you are, where you came from, what your purpose is (if any), how you should live your life, and where you're going. Before we can find any sense of direction in our lives we must first critically scrutinize our religious or areligious beliefs and the answers they give us as mentioned above. Once we have done that, we should then use what we've learned through this research to base how we should live our lives and what we should do with our lives. More and more people are beginning to subscribe to the atheistic viewpoint on life and I wish to explain this view fully and consicely while retaining brevity.
If we believe that there is no God, then we believe that life is merely accidental, that it is all by chance with no deliberate intent or purpose behind it. The building blocks for life coincidentally formed in the proper environment and went on from there. There is no real reason that life began to exist. That is to say, there is no purpose to life. Purpose is defined as "1. reason for existence:the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made
2. desired effect:the goal or intended outcome of something
3. determination:the desire or the resolve necessary to accomplish a goal
Synonyms: intention, intent, aim, object, objective, goal, target, end" by the very definition of the word "purpose" we can see that it must not apply to life for there is no reason or intention for its existence, and there certainly is no goal for it either. The definition of "meaning" is "1. something meant or intended : aim. 2. significant quality ; especially : implication of a hidden or special significance" Similarly to "purpose", we find that there is no meaning to life either if it was not meant or intended to be and there is no significant quality if it all happened by chance or accident. Many would still then argue that there can be a purpose if we give purpose to our own lives. To that I would then argue that we have no authority to grant a purpose because we are in and of ourselves meaningless and accidental. I would also point out that eventually humanity will be wiped out, wether the sun dies out, the galaxy grows too far apart for there to be warmth, or the universe implodes upon itself. If then the end result is innevitable and always the same no matter how we live our lives, there then can not be a purpose for there is no intended goal to be reached. The only logical reasoning is that life has not a meaning nor a purpose.
Leo Tolstoy put it this way in his "A Confession", "The question brought me to the edge of the abyss. What will come of what I do today and tomorrow? What will come of my entire life? Or expressed differently, why should I live? Why should I wish for anything or do anything? Or to put it another way, is there any meaning in life that will not be destroyed by my inevitably approaching death?
My deeds, whatever they may be, will be forgotten sooner or later, and I myself will be no more. Why then do anything? I therefore could not attach a rational meaning to a single act in my entire life. The only thing that amazed me is how I had failed to realize this from the very beginning. How could anyone fail to see this? That’s what is amazing. It’s possible to live as long as life intoxicates us, but once we’re sober, we cannot help seeing it’s all a delusion. There’s nothing funny or witty about it at all. It’s only cruel and stupid." I have yet to see how this logic can be disputed at all. So by this logic we can't even therefore say that we should just enjoy life in the moment because "it's only cruel and stupid"!
Now even though we can see that logically life has no purpose and is void of meaning, we still have such a hard time accepting it. The question then becomes: "why is that?" Why do we have such a yearning for meaning or purpose to our lives? I believe it is because we do have a purpose to our lives, but purpose can only come from a god or gods. If there is a divine being, then we were created intentionally and therefore with a purpose and now we can see that our lives then have meaning to them. So, if we don't accept God, we don't accept a purpose or meaning. If we don't accept a purpose or meaning, we don't accept any value or worth for life. If we don't accept any value or worth for life, we can then do whatever we wish (steal, murder, etc.)
If then we can do whatever we wish, then morality is either irrelevant or nonexistent, yet most of us subscribe to the idea of objective morality, and most of the people who subscribe to the idea of subjective morality really believe in objective morality as well. That is to say that a consensus would agree that we know what's right and wrong universally, and it is not subject to change with each individual. You wouldn't be fine with me taking your money from you because it is morally wrong to do so. Objective morality is non dependent upon our upbringing or our culture. For example, as William Lane Craig put it, the Holocaust would be morally wrong even if the Nazis won and succesfully killed or brainwashed anyone who disagreed with them on it, I would say that is a safe assumption. But how then can there be this moral obligation if there is no one to give us it? (That is not to say we must believe in God to acquire morality, but that we are designed with morality and have it wether we choose to accept Him or not) There couldn't possibly be morality without God because there couldn't be any worth or value in life and we couldn't be held to a higher standard or value if there is nothing above us to create it. Without God, morality is either due to our social conditions or evolution and is therefore relative or subjective. It is improper then for us to force our morality upon others with things such as laws.
Therefore, it concludes that without God, there can be no purpose or meaning to life as well as no such thing as morality. By denying God, we must deny morals and a purpose or meaning to our lives. I'm here to tell you your life does have meaning, purpose, and a moral obligation or duty and that is because there is a God.
4/28/13
As I lay down I start to think
What was it for, life's great mistake
What is it worth, that empty regret
To disobey what He had set
We make mistakes quite consciously
Surrender freedom for slavery
We know whats right and lasting without a doubt
Yet we seek that moments quick fix, the easy way out
But why do we fall for the exposed mirage
And continue Adam's lust as an homage
Why must we trap ourselves in this endless game
And point the finger rather than take the blame
But I stand it no longer and I so choose
To gain of the Father, myself to lose
What was it for, life's great mistake
What is it worth, that empty regret
To disobey what He had set
We make mistakes quite consciously
Surrender freedom for slavery
We know whats right and lasting without a doubt
Yet we seek that moments quick fix, the easy way out
But why do we fall for the exposed mirage
And continue Adam's lust as an homage
Why must we trap ourselves in this endless game
And point the finger rather than take the blame
But I stand it no longer and I so choose
To gain of the Father, myself to lose
Texts With A Friend
Texts With a Friend
For context, this took place after we hung out one night with some other friends and I was being rather rude that night. I explain that it is from a weird mood that I was in for a while.
Me: But this weird mood I've been in the past few weeks mainly has to do with the fact that my whole life is changing and I will probably never see (at least not to the current extent) most of the people who are close to me. I also see a lot of hurt in friends I can't help and that gets to me. I also take myself so seriously to the point that I find being or interacting with others as a way of escaping myself which is why I act so goofy or childish many times, add that with my pent up frustration and that goofiness turned into assholery tonight, which is unprofessional and I apologize.
Friend: It's okay. I'm very impressed with what you just wrote.
Me: How so? I'm rather ashamed of it.
Friend: I'm impressed because you have the eye to identify what's going on. You have a clear understanding.
Me: Yes but what is knowledge worth when you don't have the discipline to act it out?
Friend: That may be true but the knowledge is not nonexistent. That is a huge head start.
Me: If praying and working on it for years is a huge head start. But I have been working so hard on myself and been very introspective and just started to see change and improvement when this all hits me. It's caused a huge restlessness in my heart and feels like the onset of depression, which is the feeling I've been fighting for a few years and have been without for maybe a month now, but it's back harder than ever now. The good news is I know it won't last long and even though I feel like I lost all of my hard work today, it's just a backtrack. Sorry if my mind is racing and tangential at the moment, it does that haha.
Friend: The best thought processes come from minds that race. What you are describing is very detailed and paints quite a picture.
Me: Well my mind does it constantly. That's why I say I love isolation because I get all my work done, my life organized, give me time to write, read scripture, and really progress. But at the same time I feel the need to connect with others and know it to be my purpose so I have made great strides with that, but then I get caught up in the emotional side with the loss or expected loss really and I don't know how to handle it or release it because I'm not emotional and don't show emotions. So instead of working on empathy, I was rude. At least now I know not to allow that but it happened so easily it's hard to catch really.
Friend: Hmm, I kind of figured it happens so easily because it might be an element of your humor. I have lived a majority of my life in isolation.
Me: Humor is derived from our mentality. That's why my humor is everywhere really, especially puns now, because my mind is in transition. It was dark and reverted back tonight, but I've been working on it. And yes, isolation can be quite good but we lose our true identity at a point and lose our purpose. I guess for you, you have to figure out what exactly that is though.
Friend: Isolation can be served as a time to identify a purpose.
Me: Which is what I mentioned, how I discovered mine through isolation and all the benefits it has given me, but there must be balance. Isolation allows for me to grow, fellowship allows for me to give so that others may grow.
Friend: That is a very beautiful way to put it.
Me: I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject.
Friend: I can tell. I do my best to live by the golden rule. It's hard.
Me: You find your ways. For me it came with my purpose. I know you hate evangelism so I try not to sound preachy but that's what it comes down to for me.
Friend: I hate evangelism?
Me: I forget who we were talking with but you said how you hate it when people try to convert you or share their faith with you.
Friend: There is nothing wrong with sharing a faith. I just do not like it when people try to push their religion on others. When someone says "God bless you" to me, there is nothing wrong with that, in fact it is probably better than the average alternative.
Me: I guess I see that, but it becomes so tricky as to where you draw the line between those two. But as for me, I always try and look at it from the other's perspective. My Muslim friends share their faith with me because they believe I am destined for hell and they care enough about me to try and save me. My atheist friends believe that my entire belief system and everything I center my life around is a lie, they just want me to live in the truth. The list goes on. What I believe the true offense is, is the one who does not care enough to try and help the other. Tying back to apathy.
Friend: Emotions vs Logic. The great debate huh?
Me: Maybe so, but why can't they aline?
Friend: They do, it's called marriage lol.
Me: That's debatable haha.
Friend: But yes, what you say is correct. We will never advance as both individuals and as a community if we do not help each other.
Me: Which is why I mentioned the isolation vs fellowship idea and how I had that idea from my apathy vs empathy idea. It kills me to see that as a community we fail to see the true value of others and constantly put ourselves first, but it kills me much more when I realize that I am a part of the problem rather than the solution. My only inspiration to grow is twofold, to give as much of myself as I can to the God who gave Himself up for me to live, and to give as much of myself as I can to His children whom He did the same thing for. It's by realizing that I did nothing to deserve what I've been given that I've learned to give all that I have. And that's why I despise the lust I have/has for isolation. Because the isolationism is all about how I can grow. But the purpose of my growth is to give. I wish to hoard and glutton as others starve.
Friend: Hmm then wouldn't it make sense to spend time half and half?
Me: More or less, but you don't necessarily grow and give equally in equal amounts of time. It's all a balancing act really.
For context, this took place after we hung out one night with some other friends and I was being rather rude that night. I explain that it is from a weird mood that I was in for a while.
Me: But this weird mood I've been in the past few weeks mainly has to do with the fact that my whole life is changing and I will probably never see (at least not to the current extent) most of the people who are close to me. I also see a lot of hurt in friends I can't help and that gets to me. I also take myself so seriously to the point that I find being or interacting with others as a way of escaping myself which is why I act so goofy or childish many times, add that with my pent up frustration and that goofiness turned into assholery tonight, which is unprofessional and I apologize.
Friend: It's okay. I'm very impressed with what you just wrote.
Me: How so? I'm rather ashamed of it.
Friend: I'm impressed because you have the eye to identify what's going on. You have a clear understanding.
Me: Yes but what is knowledge worth when you don't have the discipline to act it out?
Friend: That may be true but the knowledge is not nonexistent. That is a huge head start.
Me: If praying and working on it for years is a huge head start. But I have been working so hard on myself and been very introspective and just started to see change and improvement when this all hits me. It's caused a huge restlessness in my heart and feels like the onset of depression, which is the feeling I've been fighting for a few years and have been without for maybe a month now, but it's back harder than ever now. The good news is I know it won't last long and even though I feel like I lost all of my hard work today, it's just a backtrack. Sorry if my mind is racing and tangential at the moment, it does that haha.
Friend: The best thought processes come from minds that race. What you are describing is very detailed and paints quite a picture.
Me: Well my mind does it constantly. That's why I say I love isolation because I get all my work done, my life organized, give me time to write, read scripture, and really progress. But at the same time I feel the need to connect with others and know it to be my purpose so I have made great strides with that, but then I get caught up in the emotional side with the loss or expected loss really and I don't know how to handle it or release it because I'm not emotional and don't show emotions. So instead of working on empathy, I was rude. At least now I know not to allow that but it happened so easily it's hard to catch really.
Friend: Hmm, I kind of figured it happens so easily because it might be an element of your humor. I have lived a majority of my life in isolation.
Me: Humor is derived from our mentality. That's why my humor is everywhere really, especially puns now, because my mind is in transition. It was dark and reverted back tonight, but I've been working on it. And yes, isolation can be quite good but we lose our true identity at a point and lose our purpose. I guess for you, you have to figure out what exactly that is though.
Friend: Isolation can be served as a time to identify a purpose.
Me: Which is what I mentioned, how I discovered mine through isolation and all the benefits it has given me, but there must be balance. Isolation allows for me to grow, fellowship allows for me to give so that others may grow.
Friend: That is a very beautiful way to put it.
Me: I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject.
Friend: I can tell. I do my best to live by the golden rule. It's hard.
Me: You find your ways. For me it came with my purpose. I know you hate evangelism so I try not to sound preachy but that's what it comes down to for me.
Friend: I hate evangelism?
Me: I forget who we were talking with but you said how you hate it when people try to convert you or share their faith with you.
Friend: There is nothing wrong with sharing a faith. I just do not like it when people try to push their religion on others. When someone says "God bless you" to me, there is nothing wrong with that, in fact it is probably better than the average alternative.
Me: I guess I see that, but it becomes so tricky as to where you draw the line between those two. But as for me, I always try and look at it from the other's perspective. My Muslim friends share their faith with me because they believe I am destined for hell and they care enough about me to try and save me. My atheist friends believe that my entire belief system and everything I center my life around is a lie, they just want me to live in the truth. The list goes on. What I believe the true offense is, is the one who does not care enough to try and help the other. Tying back to apathy.
Friend: Emotions vs Logic. The great debate huh?
Me: Maybe so, but why can't they aline?
Friend: They do, it's called marriage lol.
Me: That's debatable haha.
Friend: But yes, what you say is correct. We will never advance as both individuals and as a community if we do not help each other.
Me: Which is why I mentioned the isolation vs fellowship idea and how I had that idea from my apathy vs empathy idea. It kills me to see that as a community we fail to see the true value of others and constantly put ourselves first, but it kills me much more when I realize that I am a part of the problem rather than the solution. My only inspiration to grow is twofold, to give as much of myself as I can to the God who gave Himself up for me to live, and to give as much of myself as I can to His children whom He did the same thing for. It's by realizing that I did nothing to deserve what I've been given that I've learned to give all that I have. And that's why I despise the lust I have/has for isolation. Because the isolationism is all about how I can grow. But the purpose of my growth is to give. I wish to hoard and glutton as others starve.
Friend: Hmm then wouldn't it make sense to spend time half and half?
Me: More or less, but you don't necessarily grow and give equally in equal amounts of time. It's all a balancing act really.
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