Monday, December 5, 2016

Empathy in the Face of Opposition

You didn't ask, but here's my two cents on what's wrong with our country, and really even the world:

Not to call anyone out, but multiple people have said that living in Austin has changed me. The implication being that my being around those that don't think like they do has corrupted my ideology. A couple things to respond with: 1. I'm insulted to think that I could be manipulated or fooled into an inferior position. 2. Since when did we become so fearful of opposition? Why do we demonize those that think differently from us?

Growing up, I've had the privilege to make genuine and deep friendships with people of different political leaning, race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, religion, etc. and have had real dialogue on these matters with them. Sure, my views have sometimes changed as a result (same goes for them) but it's because I've gotten a better understanding on not just how I and like-minded people view an issue, but on how others do as well. 

What I've learned is empathy, I start to understand what drives people to think the way they do and I'm able to better put myself in their shoes and consider how things might affect them. And I'll tell you, it makes it a hell of a lot harder to fear or hate others when you do so. What I see in this world is a lack of empathy for our fellow man. We stereotype those we aren't affiliated with and set up straw men arguments for them in their place. and I'd hate for this to come off as a "holier than thou" or "I've got it all figured out" post, because I don't have it all figured out, but I know the right first step to make and I try to take it each day. 

You know, my freshman year here at UT I had a Kurdish friend whose family was forced to relocate just outside of Paris due to the Kurdish-Turkish Conflict. He told me that Islamophobia was so rampant in France that Muslims were forced into segregation and treated as second class citizens. He said this was breeding domestic extremism there and that he wouldn't be surprised if a terrorist attack occurred in that area within the next three years. We all remembered what happened last November in Paris. Now obviously I don't condone their actions in any way, but you start to see the extremes people will go to when you force them into a corner. 

Hate breeds only hate. And I fear for this country, not from outside threats or immigrants, but from the hate and divisiveness we are breeding here at home. The call for banning Muslims, the mistreatment of injustices towards blacks and other minorities, while we only continue to blame the victim and attempt to suppress their voice. Even politically, complete division in congress and the vilification of other parties' members. If you're a Republican, Democrats aren't out to destroy this country; if you're a Democrat, Republicans aren't hellbent on screwing over the middle and lower class. 

If you really think Muslims want to destroy America, maybe ask some Muslims for their perspective and why that is. If you really believe Black Lives Matters insinuates that other lives don't and that black people aren't mistreated in this country, maybe ask some black people why they think they are and what forms of racism have they experienced in their lives. If you really think that another political ideology wants to destroy this country or neglect the poor, maybe ask them why that is. 

All I ask is that we begin to dialogue with those who think differently than us and try to understand their logic. Don't dismiss their thoughts and feelings, just listen. Maybe then we can stop fearing and hating each other and start to genuinely care about each other's needs.

A Critique of Naturalism

But to understand who we are and why we are here, we must first establish where we came from. The Naturalist claims we are products of chance, a cosmic accident. There is no design to man so too then man has no purpose, no end goal. Man is but a fading blink in time. Freedom from purpose has liberated him from all accountability. So then Hedonism would be his logical out working, but as Tolstoy reveals it's all for naught. Nihilism must then be the end result. Man is created by nothing through nothing and for nothing. An untenable worldview to live, yet the unavoidable worldview for his rationale. And so a dichotomy emerges within man. A dichotomy of professing one thing yet living another. Here we find the core of Chesterton's new rebel, breeding chaos amongst the head and the heart. But where Naturalism fathers dissonance, Christianity harmony. Where the inner ache of man longs for purpose, Christianity affirms an intent to his origin. Where man acknowledges right and wrong, Christianity provides an objective author to them. And though man attempts to escape any incurrence of wrongdoing, Christianity offers his only ransom. Man tries to flee accountability for his actions and in so doing subjects himself to his own eroticism in the hopes of maintaining his facade of autonomy. But Christ has held Himself accountable for the payment of man's wrongdoing and of his insubordination. All man must do is bow the knee to his King and his Maker.

Reflections on Jake's Drowning

Today marks the two year anniversary of Jake's death. I've never publicly shared my side of the story, partly because it never felt right and partly because not enough time had passed; it was all still too real for me. But now's as good a time as any, so here it is. 

Jake has always gone  with my parents and me on our annual family vacation to Lake Tahoe. It was the last day of this particular trip and so we decided to spend it by renting a boat and going out on the lake. My father, Mills had just had his knee replaced so he was back home in Houston but two good church friends of ours Don and Debby were on this trip accompanying my mom Roxanne and it was the five of us who were in the boat that day. With a storm on the west side of the lake preventing us from going to Emerald Bay, we instead decided to go to Sandy Harbour where these massive collections of rocks jut out from the water to form this cove of sorts and where people amass to jump off into the water below. It was such a beautiful site that, looking back on it, I would never have guessed the events which were about to unfold in the next half hour. Seeing as large rocks stuck up from the bottom of this shallow part of the lake, we couldn't get the boat in too close so Jake and I decided to swim over to the rocks; and seeing all the other people in the water, we didn't think twice about the dangers of the lake or wearing life vests for such an easy swim. 

Immediately we lost our collective breath when jumping in. Although it was ending July, they were coming off a specially cold winter and melting snow ran from the mountains into the lake below year round. We took a minute to try to adjust before we began to swim. Halfway there we really started to struggle. We both went into hypothermic shock, causing us to lose our breath and fatigue harshly while also impairing muscle movement (all not ideal for swimming). 

Jake began to panic as he realized he wouldn't be able to make it there. I tried to help him out by holding on to me as I swam, but he just started to hold me down as he was trying to stay up. I realized at that moment that we weren't both going to be able to make it. The hardest thing to this day I've ever had to do is look my best friend in the eyes and tell him I'm sorry but I can't carry him anymore as I let him go. What I saw was despair, I saw the last bit of hope start to run from his eyes. I still see that vision now. I rushed to the rocks as I began to white out and called to a couple of kayakers to help Jake, but they thought we were kidding, I pleaded with them that it wasn't a joke, but they didn't do much to try and help other than call for others. They couldn't, when I saw them later on the beach the guys that I saw out on the water turned out to be a couple of 12 year olds. 

That's when I made it to the rocks just in time to turn around and see Jake's head slowly go under, then his arms, then his hands, and like that he was out of sight. After what felt like an eternity later, Joe (an off duty nurse) came paddling by, slipped off the side of his paddle board, made that 20 foot dive, effortlessly slung Jake's body into the kayak that had gotten out there by this point from two lifeguards on a jet ski following close behind him, and within seconds he was already back on the beach. A nice young lady assisted me to shore and when I got there medics were already hard at work on Jake. I remember seeing his face a dark blue. The crowded beach was deathly quiet aside from the eerie screams of my mother and a few people praying. I remember hearing a medic saying "we got a faint pulse" before hearing later "we lost it." I then went to the police who were there and gave my report, by the time I was done with that life flight had already taken off for Reno. 

One of the officers was kind enough to drive us to the hospital an hour away. As I rode shotgun, I was looking up how long a person could go without oxygen before irreparable brain damage began in drownings. It depended upon a couple of factors but most notably the temperature of the water. The cold water that caused him to drown is also what ended up helping to save Jake's life. A year later that same police officer told me that he saw me researching all of this and all he had was an urge to rip my phone away from me and throw it out the window. He knew the odds, he's dealt with multiple drownings on this lake. Very few have the same ending as this one. 

We arrive at the hospital and wait for hours, they won't let us see him because we're not family. Finally they allow my mom and I back there simply to say our last goodbyes. They said that his parents Keith and LaNay would get in by midnight and that they were going to do all that they could to try to keep his heart beating until then. My mom went in to a panic, I did everything I could to fight back the tears and try to keep her calm. She later said that she saw the tears in my eyes. 

We had to move out of the condo the next morning so Don and Debby drove me back so that the three of us could pack our rooms, they would pack my mom's as she'd stayed at the hospital. I would pack Jake's. We stopped for dinner and then made that hour long trek back, I was holding back tears  the entire time. Maybe they noticed me crying silently in the back seat of that car but didn't have the heart to tell me they did, I don't know. 

We get in to the condo and I go to take a long, hot shower (I was still coming out of the hypothermia). This was my first time to be alone and I broke down. I finally prayed my first and only prayer of this whole ordeal saying "God, whatever happens, wether Jake lives or dies, may more honor and glory and praise be brought to Your name through this situation. I strongly believe that if You were to fully heal Jake that more glory would be brought to You and Your kingdom would advance all the more, however not my will but Yours be done." Immediately, peace overfilled me. I didn't know what would come of Jake at that point, but I knew it would all work out God's providential way. 

By this point LaNay had posted publicly about Jake and the calls and texts of support swept in. I especially remember a lengthy phone call with Collin Roach who poured a lot of truth into me. I remember a call from Graham Williams who told me God assured him that Jake would make a full recovery. I wanted to believe him (he was right, after all), but I was too afraid to get my hopes up. 

I then packed up Jake's room. It was a surreal moment as I looked around that room and thought that he was never going to use these things again. I then found on his nightstand a small bug catcher that his little brother gave him so that he could "catch cool bugs on his vacation." I thought a lot about Luke and how this 4 year old boy was going to grow up never really knowing his brother. I thought a lot about how I was going to grow up myself. When I'm in my 30's or 40's will I even remember this person who played such a monumental role in my life? If so, will I remember him as my best friend or will I remember him as that 19 year old kid I used to hang out with when I was young? I realized that I was going to grow old, but Jake never would. 

I felt a lot of guilt. I knew I did all I could, but it wasn't enough. I had to look my best friend in the eyes as I gave up on him. I wasn't strong enough for the both of us. I wasn't able to carry him to shore. By this time it was the 12 o'clock hour. The moment he was supposed to go off life support. I turned to the only outlet I've always had, writing. Today marks the 2 year anniversary of this poem I wrote. A poem I only shared with Jake and two other friends. It still hits a very real and raw nerve with me and with Jake as well, so neither of us have made it public. But I feel like the time has come, it's come for me to share this story and it's come for me to share the only catharsis I had that night.  Below are the 4 short stanzas I produced before I went to bed that night. (Note it's marked 7/31/14 because it was midnight technically of the next day now when I wrote this)

7/31/14

Why couldn't it be me
At the bottom of the lake
To take the suffering
In the stead of my friend Jake

I did all that I could
And yet still not enough
In the calm is where he stood
But now the waves are getting rough

Why didn't I save you?
Could I have done any more?
I failed to be your rescue
To take you safe to shore

The bells toll a taste of sour
But they still don't have to ring
Like a beacon in the darkest hour
Don't succumb to the sting

I woke the next morning to eagerly text my mom to ask if Jake was still alive, but I dreaded what her response would be. It was a yes. That night I flew home and had to put on a lock-in for my home church where I was interning, the next day I went off to Ignite for a week where I was a counselor. By the time Ignite ended I was on the next plane to Reno to visit him. I got a text from him while I was in the airport where he was even joking in his old Jake way. I had the biggest, dumbest smile on my face. I knew that the worst was passed and I finally could breathe a sigh of relief. 

He later would make a full recovery months ahead of schedule. I remember through this whole ordeal Nick Nilson wanting to check in on me and see how I was handling everything, that meant a lot to me and still does to this day. Funny enough, Jake was also the one to see how I was handling it. Here the spotlight is on him and everyone wanting to see how he's doing and he's concerned with how I'm doing. 

As some of you might know, Jake still has a hard time with his short term memory. I remember a few months back, about a year and a half removed from the incident, he was expressing his frustration to me over studying material and knowing he studied the material but not remembering what it said. I asked him if it ever gets to him and he said "oh sure, I mean I even have some pretty bad days, but then I remember that I'm not even supposed to be here and suddenly my issues aren't that big." I've learned a lot from him over the years and have asked his guidance on countless decisions in my life, but this has had the most impact on me. Anytime I get to spend time with my best friend, even anytime we might argue or get on each other's nerves, I'm thankful that I get to do so one more time. 

Now I said this was my side of the story, but it's not even really my story. It's not even Jake's. It's the story of an all good, all loving, and all powerful God who is the proper object of our worship and glorification and who reminds us that only life can come from Him. Only meaning can come from Him. Only hope can come from Him. Through this story, I know firsthand of dozens of people who have either given their life to Christ or rededicated their life to Christ. From friends and family I've heard of hundreds. I remember John O'Korn telling me how he witnessed to three guys in the locker room through this story. This story has reached thousands of people in dozens of countries, and I know God's still not done with it yet. 

Friends, I'm here to say that Jake, myself, and all those I've mentioned in this story have that hope. We have that assurance. We know that our life was made with a purpose and that we are intrinsically valuable because of the God who made us and because of His dying on the cross to redeem us. If you don't know this God personally and you'd like to, or even if you just want to pick my brain to know more about Him or what I believe please don't hesitate to message me. 

In response to Whole Woman's Health vs Hellerstedt

In response to Whole Woman's Health vs Hellerstedt

As a preface, this is not a response to the Supreme Court's ruling directly nor the law it ruled as unconstitutional. This is simply my thought on some of the underlying issues.

I believe that abortion is wrong (at least in 80-98 percent of cases depending upon whose data you're looking at); I also believe that the death penalty is wrong. Now I know my position on these matters puts me at the fringe, but my reasoning is simple: I believe human life possesses intrinsic value. I deny the argument that this value is lost after some terrible offense and I deny the argument that this value is not gained until birth. 

For those that disagree over the death penalty: part of that intrinsic worth means that no amount of annual costs for keeping a prisoner alive is worth the value of that life itself. 

For those that disagree over abortion: I made the claim that human life possesses intrinsic value. Either you disagree then with the claim that human life is intrinsically valuable or you disagree with the idea that a fetus is a human life. I assume most would fall into the latter category, so allow me to petition my reasons. Is a fetus a human life? We'll certainly it's human, it possesses human DNA (as genetics is the main feature used in taxonomy), it is a human fetus. The main rub comes with classifying the fetus as a life. Again, I turn to biology where the working definition of a life is one that contains 5 characteristics: growth, response, energy use, metabolism, and reproduction. A fetus possesses all such characteristics. One might wish to interject that a fetus can't reproduce, but that qualification is simply if left to its natural life cycle. A fetus can reproduce as much as a 6 year old could, or a postmenopausal woman (or even someone who is simply infertile). A fetus is a stage of human life, akin to infancy, adolescence, and adulthood. The last argument I've heard posited is that the fetus is dependent upon the mother to be sustained. How is this any different than an infant dependent upon breastfeeding? And how does that deny the fetus life? I've heard fetuses likened to parasites as well, even a parasite is considered living. 

It is for these reasons that I defend that both the fetus and the convict are in both cases human life and that terminating such life (assuming intrinsic worth to human life) is wrong. 

Christianity and Culture

Just as it is the objective of apologetics to allow a cultural backdrop where it is intellectually tenable to believe in God, Scientism has done a very effective reverse of that here in the West. Christianity is not a knowledge of God but rather a relationship with Him, and so naturally it is not the practice of Christian apologetics to convert the nonbeliever through intellectual understanding but rather provide intellectual security so that the nonbeliever does not resist the pulling on their heart by God into that relationship with Him based on intellectual barriers. The reason I say Scientism has done the reverse is that it has allowed the nonbeliever a cultural backdrop where Atheism is considered the rational position and thus freely allows the nonbeliever to accept Atheism free from intellectual barriers. That is why most Atheists I encounter have done an exceedingly poor job in familiarizing themselves with the arguments and evidences on either side of the issue and yet still mask their unbelief in the veil of intellect.
It is my personal opinion that in history the Christian laity became intellectually lazy in providing rational support for their claims since the culture of the time freed people from needing intellectual arguments to accept Christianity's truth claims. Thus, when questions arose there were few who were able to properly answer them, eventually causing the swing to Atheism. Now, it is coming back in reverse. The atheistic laity does not have a proper response to natural theology. If the body of Christ can properly equip itself in understanding the intellectual truths and evidences of Christianity then we might be on the eve of another momentous swing in our culture back from Atheism to Christianity once more.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Racism

Racism is such a vast and touchy subject that I really don't even know where to begin, but it's time to start somewhere. Part of me feels ashamed for having waited this long but this summer has really helped shape my view on the matter to where I feel adequate enough to articulate my position. I don't mean to sound pretentious when I say this, but this summer has allowed me to understand society. The reason why I say that is simple: I have had many an honest discussion with people both from a similar background as mine as well as from different races, sex, genders, sexual orientations, religious beliefs, political affiliations, and socioeconomic statuses. This has allowed me to not only see where my position and those like me stand on different issues, but other individuals and groups that all fit in to the make up of our society. That way I don't strictly see aspects of our culture from one point of view but from many, and that is what makes up this whole puzzle. I think it's important to note that the only way we can make progress is if we sympathize and empathize with each other, and the only way we can do so is by listening to each other as we voice our concerns. We must build relationships with those different than us and see each other for the individuals that we are, each with our own dreams, passions, struggles, and aspirations. So before I continue on to my points, I first want to implore you to begin to have these open and honest discussions with someone that varies from you. That's the big takeaway I want you to get from this letter and I'm opening off with it in the hopes that it just might stick by the time that you are done reading this.

I think the first issue and the most obvious one we face is that most don't even see racism as a real thing anymore. Sure, Facebook posts over police brutality and fatal shootings of police bring some of this to light, but even then racism is considered to be all in the past. A family friend who I am friends with on Facebook has posted both statuses of "I hate n******" and statuses of prayer for a little black boy with an illness. I know family members who will tell me behind closed doors that they don't like certain races but also have genuine friends of that race. The problem is simply a lack of exposure. It's been ingrained all their life through something as seemingly harmless as racist jokes that are taken simply to be innocent jokes told all in good fun, to something much more blatant and harmful that this is how a certain race acts. And having it so ingrained can make it become even a subconscious issue. The few they've met and had the opportunity to build relationships with of these races are then taken to be exceptions to the rule. That's because it becomes personal; they know the person. The problem is seeing them as individuals from a group as opposed to seeing the group as comprised of individuals

Another way we think racism doesn't exist is because, as a white person (whites composing 77% of America) I don't see racism. Or when I do, it's very rare and it occurs to my friends of different races. In fact, the only way I know racism is still alive and well is because good friends whom I trust of different races will tell me of the racism they encounter. It's hardly ever experienced first hand. The old adage "ignorance is bliss" might very well ring true here. 

Lastly, when we do see racially charged attacks, like the ones we've been experiencing in the media, we fear guilt by association. We don't want to see whites committing hate crimes because we don't want whites to be viewed as racists because we don't feel like we are racist and we don't want people to view us as racists too. And we especially don't want to see our police force, our very symbol of justice and preservation of peace and order as corrupt. But just as we should see races as a group comprised of individuals, so should we too see police in the same light. And some individuals are racist (again, they might not even consider themselves racist). So many times white people will double down and say that the minority in question (who doesn't have a voice since the dead don't talk) was a "thug" or a variation thereof. We look for any way out of this being a racist incident. Accepting that racism is real is a bitter pill to swallow, but until we stop covering our ears and closing our eyes to it, we can't work on it and improve it

One thing I can definitely tell you though from understanding myself and understanding others is that we truly are products of our environment. So let's take a look at the facts concerning our environments. 

Socioeconomic Status (SES) "affects overall human functioning: our physical and mental health, the neighborhoods in which we live, our daily activities, and our access to resources. Its effects can be observed across the life span. Variance in socioeconomic status, such as disparities in the distribution of wealth, income, and access to resources, mitigate social problems. Low SES and its correlates, such as lower education, poverty, and poor health, ultimately affect our society as a whole." (1)

"Research finds that declines in academic attainment are common after exposure to or experience of violence." (1)

"Research on postviolence consequences finds that exposure to violence can negatively affect the ability to sustain employment." (1)

"Arrests statistics and much research indicate that poor people are much more likely than wealthier people to commit street crime. However, some scholars attribute the greater arrests of poor people to social class bias against them. Despite this possibility, most criminologists would probably agree that social class differences in criminal offending are “unmistakable”." (2)

"Thus social class does seem to be associated with street crime, with poor individuals doing more than their fair share." (2)

"Explanations of this relationship center on the effects of poverty, which, as the next section will discuss further, is said to produce anger, frustration, and economic need and to be associated with a need for respect and with poor parenting skills and other problems that make children more likely to commit antisocial behavior when they reach adolescence and beyond. These effects combine to lead poor people to be more likely than wealthier people to commit street crime, even if it is true that most poor people do not commit street crime at all.
Where we live also makes a difference for our likelihood of committing crime. We saw earlier that big cities have a much higher homicide rate than small towns. This trend exists for violent crime and property crime more generally. Urban areas have high crime rates in part because they are poor, but poverty by itself does not completely explain the urban-rural difference in crime, since many rural areas are poor as well. When many people live close together, they come into contact with one another more often. This fact means that teenagers and young adults have more peers to influence them to commit crime, and it also means that potential criminals have more targets (people and homes) for their criminal activity. Urban areas also have many bars, convenience stores, and other businesses that can become targets for potential criminals, and bars, taverns, and other settings for drinking can obviously become settings where tempers flare and violence ensues." (2)

(3)

(4)

(5)

(6)

(7)

Let's just observe a few key factors to our environment in which we grow up in:

School System
The public school system is failing and that's no surprise to anyone. The middle and upper class pay to send their children to private schools for a proper education, a luxury lower class individuals can't afford. 

Resources and Network
Less money and lower status in society means less resources and poorer network to pull from. No surprise there. 

Parenting Skills/Two Parents
As provided in the sources above, lower socioeconomic status leads to higher single parent homes and poorer parenting skills and abilities. Single parent homes provide the child with fewer role models and positive adult influences to look up to. 

Exposure
Also citing the sources above, more exposure at a younger age leads to violence, doing poorly in school, and higher difficulty in holding steady employment. Those that grow up in the lower class have a much higher rate of exposure at earlier ages. Exposure leads to desensitization and gang involvement as well. 

Lastly, we see very clearly that most minorities are in a lower socioeconomic status. As if it weren't clear enough, let's remember that desegregation wasn't a thing until just over 50 years ago and the system wasn't fixed over night. The system still isn't fixed. All of my grandparents had a college education and steady employment by this time. Even well after desegregation, minorities would be passed up on a job they were qualified for and it would be given instead to a white person. Is it any surprise then that this leads to a lower socioeconomic status? Of course not. 

Hegemony is a very real thing that exists in every culture. We accept that it existed in our nation's history but then naively assume that it just disappeared after the Civil Rights Era. Hegemony did not disappear, it just moved in to the shadows. It is much more subtle now and no longer out in the open in our country; and its weapon of choice is poverty. 

On a personal level, I can tell you about my cousin and how he lost his job when the recession hit. I remember that family Christmas party when he told some of my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and me that he was going to start selling drugs. We tried talking him out of it and pleaded for him to just keep searching for a job; but you have to understand, he had two babies with his girlfriend and was searching for a job for months. He had a family to support and he was unable to do so. And that's the thing, back someone into a corner and they will do almost anything to get out. When faced with staying inside the boundaries of the system and potentially putting you and your kids on the street or breaking the rules in order to prevent that, he chose the latter. How can I fault him for his decision? Would I have done the same thing if I were in his position? I don't know. I'd like to think that the answer would be no, but until I'm actually in that circumstance I can't truly speak on what I would do. And thank God that I don't have to. My cousin ended up selling drugs, robbing a crack house, robbing a bank, and killing a guy while they were on an interstate drug run who was planning to take his life. My cousin is now serving life in prison. I was just a freshman in high school when this all went down and I didn't truly appreciate the gravity of it all at the time, but now I do. I'm not here to condone my cousin for what he did, but what I am here to do is challenge you to put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Is this some deadbeat dad who got what he deserved or was this a man doing what he saw as his only option to put food on the table and a roof over his kids' heads? All I'm saying is seriously consider all sides of an argument before you come to any sort of conclusion. My cousin, just like you and I, was a product of his environment

On an even more personal level, let's look at my environment. I was raised by two solid parents in a middle class family that was able to afford to send me to a private school to receive the best education possible. I now attend a prestigious university that my parents are able to fully pay for, allowing me to graduate debt free. My family is well connected and I have an unusually vast network to pull from. I was also fairly well sheltered through my early years up until my adolescence, so my exposure to things at an early age was severely limited. I would love nothing more than to say that I made myself the man that I am today, but that would simply be a foolish and ignorant thing to say. Yes, it was up to me to utilize the resources and opportunities that I have been given, but the resources and opportunities were there, and that's a very rare thing for many people to be able to say. 

If I'm able to be seen as an individual to most and not simply seen for the color of my skin, others should have that same right as well. Know that I am not writing this because of white guilt but rather because I feel compelled to speak out against injustice.


Citations




4. Steven E. Barkan, A Primer on Social Problems

5. Edward N. Wolff, 2010

6. U.S. News